The following is an example of a real job application that was sent in to a McDonald’s in the state of Florida. According to reports, the man got recruited immediately after submitting his application due to the fact that it was so funny.
Name: Jeremy Skitt
Not at this time, but I’m keeping an eye out for the perfect partner.
Position Preferred: Laid Back and Relaxed. Ha ha, but in all seriousness, whatever’s in the cupboard. If I could be more selective in the people I worked with, I would not have applied for this job in the first place.
The desired salary is “$185,000” per “year in addition to stock options” and a severance package comparable to that of Michael Ovitz. If it isn’t possible, then make me an offer, and we can negotiate from there.
Education – I have some.
The previous position that I held made me a target for the hatred of middle management.
Pay: Much lower than I should receive.
My most noteworthy accomplishment is the huge “collection of stolen pens and post-it notes” that I have amassed over the years.
The reason for leaving was that it was terrible.
Any hours are available to work as needed.
Referred “Hours are Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday from 1:30” to 3:30 in the afternoon.
Do You Possess Any Unique Abilities? : I do, however I feel that they would be best utilized in a more personal setting.
Could We Get in Touch With Your Current Employer? : If I had a job, I wouldn’t be here, would I?
Do you have any physical conditions that would prevent you from lifting up to fifty pounds? : Of what?
Do You Have A automobile? : I believe that a better question to ask in this scenario would be “do you have a car that runs?”
Have You Been Honored With Any Particular Awards Or Acknowledgments? : I believe that I may have already been selected as the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
You only light up when they’re on fire, right?
What do you hope to have accomplished in the next five years? I’m currently residing in Bimini with a tremendously affluent supermodel who considers me to be the best thing that’s ever happened since bread was invented. In point of fact, I wish that I were doing it right now.
To the best of your knowledge, do you certify that the information presented above is accurate and complete? : I don’t believe that, but I challenge you to show me why I’m wrong.
Sign Here: A Libra moon with a Scorpio rising.