Do you recall Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Mama bear and papa bear are divorcing each other.
They present a baby bear in court. The judge calls baby bear to the witness stand and inquires about his ideal living partner.
Baby bear adds, “Well not papa bear he beats me.”
The Judge inquires, “So mama bear?”
Baby bear says, “Oh no, she beats me even worse than papa bear.”
The Judge asks inquisitively, “So who would you like to live with?”
Baby bear says, “My grandma bear in Chicago.”
The Judge queries, “Your grandma bear doesn’t beat you?”
Oh crap, the Chicago Bears lose to everyone.