Satan was sick of the never-ending suffering all around him, even in the flaming depths of Hell, where it was customary to endure unending agony and torment. At some point, he made the decision to escape the daily mayhem and went down to the area of Hell called the “Canadian Corner.” There he discovered a gathering of Canadians, all wrapped up in warm clothes, chatting and laughing merrily beside a nice fire.
What Satan saw left him perplexed. Hell was meant to be a place of agony and hopelessness, yet these Canadians appeared quite happy there. Annoyed, he couldn’t help but wonder why they were so joyful in the midst of damnation.
Wearing a toque and plaid jacket, one of the Canadians grinned and said, “Well, you see, we’re from Canada, eh? And it’s always so damned chilly down there. However, this location is warm and comfortable in contrast to our hometowns!”
Satan walked off, determined to put a stop to this unwanted problem, his eyes narrowing with annoyance. He marched inside Hell’s boiler chamber, where he found the demons responsible for maintaining the temperature. He gave them the command to turn up the heat to an intolerable degree without thinking twice.
On his way back to the Canadians’ room, Satan heard a flurry of cries from afflicted souls pleading with him to turn down the heat. Unaffected, he was sure that his scheme would succeed.
Satan expected, upon entering the room, to discover the Canadians in a state of extreme misery due to the intense heat. But what he saw in front of him was very different. Not only were the Canadians unaffected by the intense heat, but they were actively enjoying a BBQ, cooking burgers and roasting marshmallows.
Satan became enraged and demanded to know why they were happy. Retorting, “Well, sir, we figured since the weather’s so nice, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity for a good old barbecue!” was one of the Canadians wearing a “Hockey Night in Canada” jersey. Even if hell is really hot, it’s not nearly as hot as some of the summer heatwaves back home, is it?
Satan saw that his plans to torture these Canadians were failing. Resolved to take back command, he stormed back to the boiler room and set the temperature to below zero, the coldest on Earth.
Feeling that he had finally prevailed, Satan went back to the Canadians’ chamber and discovered them bouncing around with joy, their breath turning into icy clouds. “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” he yelled, tiring of waiting.
The Canadians turned to face him without skipping a beat, their faces beaming with happiness as they all simultaneously exclaimed, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!!!”