I had a little conversation with her before going to pick her up. My desperation had led me to this point; it was either this or entering an incel chatroom. I wasn’t expecting much, maybe someone with a few extra pounds and less-than-perfect complexion, but my desperation had led me to this point. It was either this or joining an incel chatroom. As I got closer to the entrance, I couldn’t believe my good fortune. She stood there, all of five feet and two inches tall, with baby blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair. She had all the right curves in all the right places.

I was interested in getting to know her further, so I inquired as to what she did for a living, and she informed me that she was a Sunday school teacher. Because I believed myself to have an open mind, despite the fact that I had never dated a Christian girl before, I decided to take her out to dinner.

While we were walking to the restaurant, I lit up a joint and asked her in a nonchalant manner if she was a smoker. She retorted, “Oh no, heavens no, what would I tell my Sunday school children?” I gave a shrug and continued driving, pondering that the tastes of other individuals for weed were probably split down the middle. I brought her to the finest restaurant I was familiar with and placed an order for a succulent steak for myself, while she opted for the lobster. When the waitress came over with the wine list, I requested boldly for the bottle that was the second highest price on the list.

I tried to hide my amazement when she turned down the wine and said she wasn’t a drinker, but it was impossible. “You don’t drink?” he asked. I inquired with astonishment. She gave a sweet grin and responded, “Oh, heaven’s no, what would I tell my Sunday school children?”

In spite of the delicious food and the lively conversation we were having, I couldn’t help but feel a little down in the dumps. I was completely clueless on how to interact with a female like this. As I was driving her home, we came upon an affordable motel, and I made the decision to take a chance on it. “Would you like to check into a room and have some fun?” I inquired with some trepidation.

I was taken aback by her enthusiastic response, which was “I thought you’d never ask!” I broke into a grin and asked, “Really? What are you going to say to the children in your Sunday school class?” Her response was, “The same thing I tell them every week: You don’t have to drink and do drugs to have a good time.” She didn’t skip a beat as she delivered this line of defense.