Two Southern Belles were chatting on the porch of a grand white-pillared mansion

“My husband built me this beautiful mansion when my first child was born,” the first woman added with pride.

The second said, “Well, isn’t that nice?” with a smile.

“He bought me that fine Cadillac out front when my second child was born,” the first one went on.
“Well, isn’t that nice?” the second woman asked again.

The first smiled and remarked, “And he gave me this dazzling diamond bracelet when my third child was born.”

“Well, isn’t that nice?” the second lady said sweetly, as she often does.

“What did your husband give you when you had your first child?” inquired the first woman, curious now.

The second said, “He sent me to charm school,” with a cunning smile.

“Charm school? For what, child—for land sakes?

“So instead of saying ‘Who gives a crap,’ I learned to say ‘Well, isn’t that nice?’” added the second woman, leaning closer.

After several years, two female friends got back together.

One person said, “Tell me, what happened to your son?”

“Oh, my poor son!” The mother sighed.

“His marriage is quite regrettable. The girl he ended up with doesn’t do anything around the house. All day long, she lies in bed, either reading or sleeping. Isn’t it amazing that he gives her breakfast in bed?

“That’s awful,” her pal remarked. “And your daughter?”

“Oh, how lucky she is! She wed an angel. She doesn’t do anything around the house, he insists. He gives her breakfast in bed every morning. She is free to rest all day and sleep for as long as she desires.

Funny Jokes That Will Brighten Your Day

The stress of deadline pressure can make our lives busy, but laughter is a wonderful way to lift our spirits. As you read these jokes, take a seat back, unwind, and have a good chuckle.

It’s simple to become enmeshed in the bustle of the modern world. However, taking a moment to chuckle might improve your mood and general health. For that reason, we’ve put up this selection of amusing jokes that are sure to make your day and lift your spirits.

Are you ready? Let’s get started!

The cowboy was aware of his actions.

An elderly, blind cowboy accidentally enters an all-girl biker bar one evening. He locates a bar stool and places an order for coffee.

He sits there for a while before shouting, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” to the waitress.
The bar is completely silent.

“Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it’s only fair, given that you’re blind, there are five things that you should know,” the woman next to him says in a deep voice.

• A blonde female wielding a baseball bat is the bartender.

• A blonde girl is the bouncer.

• I’m a blonde woman that weighs 175 pounds and stands 6 feet tall. I hold a black karate belt.

• I’m seated next to a blonde woman who lifts weights professionally.

• The blond woman on your right is a professional wrestler.
• 
  She pauses for a moment, then continues, “Now, give it some real thought, Mister. Would you like to continue telling that joke?

After giving it some thought, the cowboy shakes his head and murmurs, “Nope. Not when I have to repeat it five times.”

Too Good to Be True

Arnold once came over an advertisement for a black SUV while perusing Facebook. It looked like the pricing was too good to be true.

He yelled, “Mom!” “Am I able to purchase a car? Now that I’m old enough to drive, I came upon this incredible advertisement. An SUV is being sold for only $25.

“Oh, Arnold,” groaned his mother. “There must be an error. Instead, it’s a typo, as they say. For a few dollars, who would sell a car?

“Mom, may we go look at the car? Would you please?” He gave his mother a beseeching look. “It’s just a few blocks away.”

“Alright,” answered his mother.

Arnold and his mother visited the address listed in the advertisement the next day. As expected, a brand-new, black SUV with only a few hundred kilometers on it was in perfect shape.

A woman left her home after noticing them examining the car.

She said to Arnold, “So, you’re interested in buying the car?”

“Yes,” he said with a nod. It’s really lovely! For what price are you selling it? Twenty-five dollars, however…
She stated, “The price is still $25,” “I’ll lower the price if you think it’s too high.”

Arnold signed the documents and paid the money right away. But before they departed, his mother paused to speak to the woman one final time.

“Oh… I would like to know why you are offering this expensive SUV for such a low price. The woman was asked by Arnold’s mother.

“Well,” said the woman. “My spouse fled with his secretary the other day as well. “He called me from Hawaii and said, ‘Sell my car, send me the money.’ So I’m doing that.”

The Indolent Worker

In the hopes that Richard would improve the company’s overall operations, a company appointed him as its new CEO.

Richard made the decision to find and fire all of the slackers on the first day. While touring the facilities from his office, he spotted a young man leaning against a wall.

Richard was aware of his next course of action. He used this as a chance to demonstrate to all of the staff that he had no place in the organization with such indolent individuals.

“How much money do you make in a week?” he asked the man as he approached him now.

It was “$200, sir,” the man said. “Why?”

By that time, Richard was already the center of attention for everyone in the office. He extracted his wallet by sliding his hand into his pocket.

He handed him two hundred dollars and added, “Here’s a week’s pay,” “Now leave and don’t come back! “People like you are not welcome here.”

Being able to fire someone made Richard feel fantastic. “Can anyone tell me what the slacker did here?” Richard asked the staff after the man had left.

A senior staff member then remarked, “Sir, that was the pizza delivery guy.”

The Important News

Peter’s parents told him one day that they wanted to discuss something very important with him.

He said, “What happened, Dad?” to his dad.

His father answered, “Son, we want you to know that you’re adopted,”

“What?” Peter was taken aback.

His mother remarked, “We wanted to wait for the right time to tell you, sweetheart,”

“I was aware of it! I was aware that I was adopted. After saying that, Peter turned to face his father. “I want to meet my biological parents!”

“We’re your biological parents,” told Peter’s father. “Now pack up, the new ones are coming to pick you up in 20 minutes.”

The Odd Interview

One day, a young woman was going to an interview for a low-level position. Following a brief conversation and a check of her credentials, the interviewers concluded she wasn’t the most intelligent candidate.

They couldn’t, however, end the interview before allowing her the appropriate amount of time. To pass the time, they started asking her basic questions.

One of the interviewers inquired, “So, how old are you?”

The woman’s fingers began to count.
She said, “27 years, sir,” after a minute.

Before the second interviewer asked her another question, they exchanged glances.

“How tall are you?”

The woman stood up, grabbed a measuring tape from her bag, and took a height reading.

The answer was, “Five feet, three inches,”

The last question was then posed to her by the initial interviewer.

“Ok,” he sighed. “Just tell us your name, please.”

They were shocked when the woman murmured, “Neha!” after chanting something quietly.
She was questioned why it took her so long to say her name by one of the interviewers, who was at her breaking point.

The female started by saying, “I was just recalling that song,” “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Neha…”

Which joke, then, was your favorite? Remember to tell your loved ones these jokes. On a bad day, you can wind up making someone feel better.
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