My Twin Brother Excluded Me from His Engagement Party—Then Our Sister Revealed a Mind-Blowing Reason

Before he held a party that destroyed everything I believed to be true about our relationship, my twin brother and I were inseparable. I will never be able to view my family the same way again after what I learned next.

I’ve always believed that twins have an unshakable link. I was forced to take revenge in the best way I knew how after my twin brother abruptly excluded me from his engagement celebration without giving me any explanation.

My brother and I were inseparable as children. My twin brother’s name is Dylan, and I’m Aaron, a 28-year-old. We were the epitome of opposites: Dylan’s charm and innate athleticism lighted up the room, while I was the quiet, reserved, nerdy kid with glasses who was constantly buried in a book or some coding project.

Despite our differences, we were best friends, supported one another unconditionally, and spent a lot of time together—willingly.

But when we started college, everything was different.

Dylan remained in Arizona, close to home, while I relocated to Portland to get a computer science degree. The city, the coffee, the rain, and the strange bookshops all captured my heart. I therefore established my life there after graduating.

I eventually discovered my partner Megan, who has been my rock for more than a year and a half, after finding a strong group of friends, internships, and a tech job I enjoyed.

I always kept in touch with my family, even though we lived far away. Every milestone, every birthday, and every holiday, I took a plane home. I was therefore overjoyed when Dylan, who had been dating his girlfriend for three years, announced his engagement on Instagram last year!

I immediately texted him: “Man, congrats! I’m really glad for you. In response, he informed me that an engagement party will be held within the following six to eight weeks. In order for me to schedule a flight, I instructed him to notify me of the precise date as soon as it was decided.

However, the date never materialized.

Weeks went by with… nothing.

Whenever I mentioned it, my parents would respond with “It’s still being finalized,” or “Don’t worry, we’ll keep you posted.”

Then, a few weeks later, I thought it must be getting close, so one evening I texted Dylan directly to ask about the date. Because I didn’t want to pay for a last-minute flight and because it would be difficult to gain leave from work, I pressed the issue.

However, all I received was radio silence.

I contacted Mom again to see if she had heard anything because I was beginning to worry that I would miss it.

“It’s not really an engagement party,” she stated. “Just having a small family meal. There’s no need to fly in.

I thought that was strange, and I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right.

My favorite aunt, who I considered a second mother, texted me a week later to express her disappointment that I hadn’t attended the celebration. I answered, perplexed, “Which party? Do you mean Dylan’s little dinner party?

She emailed a photo.

An full restaurant had been hired out by Dylan and Hailey, his fiancée! There were eighty people present, including our childhood friends and cousins. All of them, apparently, except me!

My aunt was shocked when I informed her that I had never been invited. It was said that I “couldn’t make it.” Word then spread like wildfire. All of a sudden, Dylan and my parents started backpedaling messages to me, saying things like, “It was a misunderstanding.” “It wasn’t a big deal.” “Just a mix-up.”

I made an effort to understand why I had been ignored, but everyone either avoided making eye contact or dismissed my attempts to discuss it.

I knew it wasn’t a mix-up, though. I was left out on purpose. It was palpable in my bones.

I began to doubt everything. Did Hailey feel uneasy in my presence? Did I say or do something incorrectly without realizing it? I searched my memories, and one recollection jumped out: Hailey thought I was Dylan the last time I was there.

“There you are!” she exclaimed as she approached me from behind and wrapped her arms about me. With a startled expression, she drew back and stumbled, “Oh my god, I thought you were Dylan.”

At the time, we all laughed it off, but Dylan might not have. I began to worry whether something unpleasant had been ingrained in his psyche at that point. Feeling jealous? Uncertainty? That would account for the abrupt change.

But I persisted. The air felt like concrete at Christmas. Small chat, like filler in a crumbling wall, pervaded every conversation as no one addressed the elephant in the room. Easter was even worse.

I hoped we could talk and just get things straightened out when I returned for our sister Jamie’s birthday. However, I believe she finally had enough of it because she said, “It’s because you moved so far away!” while staring me in the eye. It seems as though you are no longer truly family! Everything feels so strange now because of you.”

I felt like I was punched in the chest by that. I hardly said farewell before leaving the celebration early.

A ‘Save the Date’ for the wedding was then sent to me around nine months ago, and the official invitation was sent six months ago. Not that I expected it anymore, but Jamie and our younger brother Kyle were mentioned as part of the wedding party.

I didn’t receive a +1 for Megan, but Jamie did for her situationship!

That was more painful than I had anticipated. Megan had had multiple encounters with my family. She had prepared cookies for Christmas, sent gifts, and had even assisted Jamie with an urgent last-minute clothing. She wasn’t invited, though.

It was obvious that I wasn’t welcome. I was only added to maintain appearances.

I didn’t say no, but I also didn’t RSVP.

Nobody got in touch with me before to the rehearsal dinner, which I was obviously not anticipated at, on the wedding weekend. However, my phone was flooded with calls and texts an hour or so prior to the event. “Are you on your way?” “Was your flight delayed?” “Where are you?”

I choose to disregard them.

Then my mother’s phone rang once again. I waited for it to ring a little before answering. “Where the hell are you?!” she said, her voice breaking over the connection.

“In Portland,” I said, inhaling deeply. where it appears that you all would rather I be.”

She let out a gasp. “Your brother is getting married! How could you ruin the day and make us feel so embarrassed?”

“If I was so important, why didn’t anyone call when I missed the rehearsal dinner?” I questioned, gripping the phone tighter. I didn’t RSVP, so why didn’t anyone check in? How come you didn’t inquire about my flight schedule? Did nobody see that last night I wasn’t sleeping in the guest bedroom?

She remained silent.

It ‘ruined the day,’ and the only reason you’re upset is because someone else remembered me, saw that I wasn’t there, and wanted to see me more than you all did. You’re concerned about the appearance, not about me.

She tried, “Aaron,” “we—”

“No, Mom,” I replied. “It was obvious right away that I wasn’t welcome and that my presence would cause chaos. The engagement party did not extend an invitation to me. The wedding party did not include me. I was left out of everything that happened before today.

As I went on, I believe I heard her sniff tearfully, “Jamie even mentioned that I make everything feel strange when I’m around. Megan wasn’t given a seat either. Not to mention that I wasn’t seated at the family table. If I did turn up, where was I to sit?”

There is still no sound.

“I am not a moron. I’m clearly no longer regarded as a member of this family. I stayed at home with Megan, the one person who didn’t want me around but did. She enjoys my presence.

She didn’t say anything, but I could hear her breathing. “Tell everyone I said ‘hi,'” I added before hanging up.

The consequences were severe!

I received texts accusing me of being selfish, petty, and theatrical.

On that particular evening, Megan held me while I sat on the couch and gazed blankly at a paused episode of “New Girl.” I told her everything. I told her that Dylan and I used to build LEGO castles till three in the morning.

How two names were written in frosting on birthday cakes that we shared. He was crying too much to admit it, so I once took the responsibility for a shattered window. And how he could no longer see me.

“They cut you out because they don’t know how to deal with anything that feels unfamiliar,” she continued. “It was not you who made the change. They simply refused to adapt.

I was struck by that line. Because I was still the same person. I had just quit going out of my way to win over folks who only accepted the version of myself that lived within ten miles of them.

Perhaps I caused awkwardness; perhaps they couldn’t cope with the concept of a twin brother who didn’t match the family’s model. They simply stopped wanting me there, but I continued to show up.

I won’t pretend that it doesn’t hurt. I constantly miss them. I am reminded of the space I used to occupy by every wedding picture and every happy face. But I’m also getting better at letting go. should acknowledge that family members may occasionally decide you are no longer worthy of their attention or space.

That Aaron who gave Kyle his first Nintendo, who sat up late helping Jamie with her math homework, and who chose Dylan’s prom tuxedo when he couldn’t decide between two colors is still me.

However, I’m also Aaron, a Portland native who fell in love with a nice, silly, and understanding person. Someone who started from scratch and persisted when others gave up.

And me like that? He is also worthy of being seen. I am therefore proceeding with those who do.