The Brilliant Wife’s Response
The Fridge’s Note
After thirty-five years of marriage, Margaret and Robert had raised children, shared experiences, and settled into the easy rhythm of a long-term relationship.
Thus, she saw right away that something had changed in their meticulously kept equilibrium when she entered the kitchen on a Tuesday morning and noticed the note affixed to the refrigerator door. Kitchen supplies
Robert’s pricey stationery, the type he used for business letters, with the note:
Margaret, my dearest,
I hope you are feeling well when you receive this letter. I want to start by expressing how much I cherish our marriage and all that we have created together over the years.
But I have to tell you the truth about some biological facts that I think we both have to face.
You can no longer meet some of the cravings that a man of my vigor still has at fifty-seven. Please realize that this is not a reflection of my regard for you as a partner; rather, it is just a matter of biological reality and natural growth.
I thus thought it only right to let you know that I will be spending today evening at the Comfort Inn Hotel on Highway 12 with my secretary, Jennifer, who is nineteen years old. This is merely a realistic arrangement to meet these needs, and I hope you will see that.
I want to reassure you that my loyalty to you as my wife and our marriage remain unaffected by this. It will be before midnight when I get home.
Respectfully, Robert
After reading the note three times, Margaret’s initial astonishment gave way to a completely different feeling—a chilly, crystalline clarity that was almost freeing.
A tiny smile played at the corners of her mouth as she carefully folded the note, put it in her purse, and continued her day of teaching calculus to college students.
She wrote her own message that night on the same pricey stationery Robert used in his home office:
Greetings, Robert
I appreciate your open letter this morning. I value your candor about my fifty-seven-year-old age, and I appreciate you taking the time to fully clarify your viewpoint.
You appear to have forgotten that you are fifty-seven years old in your evaluation of biological reality, and I would like to take this opportunity to remind you of this.
As you are aware, I teach mathematics at Riverside Community College with a focus on statistical analysis and advanced calculus.
Please be advised that I am with one of my best pupils, Michael, at the Hotel Fiesta downtown at the time you are reading this message. In addition to being nineteen years old, Michael serves as the assistant tennis instructor.
Now, as a prosperous businessman who has always taken great satisfaction in his superior command of logic and mathematics, I’m sure you’ll value the following computation:
Fifty-seven is exactly three times the product of nineteen. Nevertheless, fifty-seven is divided by nineteen zero.
You will therefore realize that, based only on mathematical concepts, we are essentially in the same circumstance, with the exception of a minor but important variation in frequency capability.
I won’t be home till tomorrow afternoon because of this mathematical fact. Depending on Michael’s endurance and my readiness to give extra credit, maybe later.
With similar deference, Margaret
P.S. A calculus textbook that I left on your bedside table. The division chapter could be instructive.
When Robert got home at 11:47 p.m., the note was lying spread out on the dining room table, leaning against a calculator and a math journal with the article “Understanding Numerical Relationships” open.
Neighbors said the expression on his face was adorable.
Did you enjoy this joke? Here are twenty additional instances of outstanding comebacks:
The Surprise of the Executive
When Thomas Bradley, the CEO of a Fortune 500 business, entered his corner office, he saw an envelope on his desk with the label “URGENT.” There was a formal letter from his 28-year-old wife inside:
Greetings, Thomas
I’m writing to let you know that I’m going to file for divorce. Given that you’ve been too preoccupied with “business trips” to see that I’ve been miserable for the last five years, you might be taken aback by this decision.
I’m asking for half of all marital assets, including the Aspen vacation house you believe I’m unaware of, that is registered in your assistant’s name.
I want to express my gratitude for using passwords that are so predictable. It was incredibly simple to guess “ThomasBradley1”.
Regards, Your Imminent Ex-Wife
P.S. Additionally, I’ve included copies of your “business expenses” for the previous three years. Both the IRS and my attorney thought these were fascinating.
After calling his lawyer in a panic, Thomas learned that his wife had been ahead of him for months.
- The Wars for Parking Spaces
After fifteen minutes of circling the packed mall parking lot, Linda finally noticed a spot opening up. When the prior vehicle backed out, she turned on her turn signal and waited calmly. Car dealership
A beautiful sports car sped by her and took the place just as she started to move ahead. “That’s what happens when you’re young and fast, lady,” a twentysomething man replied with a smile.
With a charming smile, Linda pulled down her window and said, “That’s alright. That is the result of being wealthy and elderly.
She then proceeded to gently tap her enormous SUV into his car’s back bumper, causing a $3,000 dent in his immaculate sports car but only a minor scratch on her reinforced bumper.
“My insurance will take care of it,” she exclaimed with joy. “The dealership is owned by my husband.”
- The Complaint About the Restaurant
Sitting in a fancy restaurant, a woman was obviously dissatisfied with her food. She started into a long tirade over the presentation, the seasoning, and the temperature when the server inquired if everything was up to par.
After attentively listening, the waiter responded, “Ma’am, I’m sorry you’re not happy. I should point out, though, that you’re dining at a soup kitchen. Actually, there is no fee for the food here. Kitchen supplies
The woman blinked twice, took in the modest surroundings that she had somehow overlooked, and silently completed her complimentary dinner.
- The interview for a job
The middle-aged hiring manager, who sat across from Jennifer, had been asking her increasingly inappropriate questions about her personal life, relationship status, and future family plans for the past twenty minutes.
“You’re obviously qualified, but I have concerns about hiring women of childbearing age,” he finally concluded, leaning back. They are frequently untrustworthy.
Jennifer got to her feet, grinned, and said, “Thank you for being honest. It assists me in determining which businesses I most definitely do not wish to work for.
I’ll make sure to bring up this discussion in my letter to your HR department and the EEOC, as well as when I publish my review on Glassdoor and LinkedIn.
The manager’s self-assured grin remained fixed on his face as she left.
His rival hired her six months later, paying her twenty percent more. When her company bought his a year later, she became his employer.
- The Membership to the Gym
Harold had been going to Elite Fitness three times a week for three years, but he had never lost the weight he had intended to. He received an unsolicited approach from a new personal trainer one day.
With fake enthusiasm, the trainer responded, “Hey, buddy.” It appears that you need assistance. I have a unique program that has the power to completely change you.
“Thanks, but I’m already working with someone,” Harold said with a smile.
“Really? since I haven’t noticed any outcomes.
Harold pointed to the trainer’s own evident steroid use and the three individuals who had left his program in that month alone when he added, “Neither have your clients.” “But thank you for your concern.”
- The Letter of Inheritance
Greetings, Father
I appreciate your letter letting me know that you have chosen to leave my younger brother your whole fortune because, as you said, “He needs it more and has always been more responsible.”
I wanted to use this chance to let you know a few things you might not have known:
During the three years you were unemployed, I was the one who covered your mortgage.
Your life was saved by my early diagnosis of your heart issue.
As I agreed to examine his company’s finances, I learned that your “responsible” son is currently facing embezzlement allegations.
You can leave the estate to him. I’ve already constructed mine without your consent or assistance.
Your oldest daughter
- The ticket for speeding
A luxury car traveling at 85 mph in a 55 mph zone was stopped by Officer Martinez. He was quickly defended by the driver, a well-dressed man in his forties.
“Do you know who I am, officer? I work at— as a senior vice president.
Martinez interrupted, saying, “I don’t care if you’re the President of the United States.” “You were driving too fast in a school zone.”
“My insurance rates could be impacted by this ticket!”
“Yes,” Martinez said. “That’s how consequences usually operate.”
The man muttered something about complaints and attorneys. “You can definitely file a complaint,” said Martinez, passing him the ticket. My wife is my sergeant. Her brother is my captain. And who will hear your case, the judge? My father-in-law is that person. Enjoy your day.
- The reunion of the class
Bethany found a bunch of her former classmates who had made her life unpleasant gathered close to the bar when she arrived at her 20-year high school reunion.
One of them exclaimed, “Oh my God.” Is Bethany there? Whoa, you’ve aged a lot.
Bethany grinned. Indeed, I have. In addition, I’ve married a great man, had two intelligent kids, written three best-selling novels, and at last accepted my appearance.
Jennifer, how about you? Are you still judging yourself by your appearance? At forty, that must be becoming more difficult.
Everyone fell silent. Later, one of them expressed regret. For the rest of the evening, the others stayed away from her.
- The Dinner Party
One of the guests at Margaret’s dinner party, a recently successful businessman, spoke about his accomplishments, automobiles, and vacation properties all night long.
“Obviously,” he exclaimed loudly, “not everyone is able to cope with the pressure of true achievement. Some folks are simply made to be mediocre.
After remaining silent the entire evening, Margaret’s husband eventually responded, “You’re absolutely right.” The pressure of success based on investor fraud and Ponzi schemes was too much for me to bear. As a federal prosecutor, I like my subpar job better. I mean, it’s pretty boring.
Soon later, the business owner departed. Three months later, he was charged.
- The Critique of Fashion
Samantha overheard two women criticizing her attire in the restroom after she arrived to a charity dinner wearing a cozy, reasonably priced dress.
“Is it unbelievable that someone would show up to an occasion like this wearing such a cheap outfit?”
After cleaning her hands and coming out of the cubicle, Samantha murmured sweetly, “You’re right. My dress may have been more expensive.
However, I decided to give that money to the organization that we are purportedly here to promote. I’m assuming you did the same based on your interaction.”
Stuttering, the woman walked away. The event planner complimented Samantha for being the biggest donor of the evening when she returned to the banquet.
- The Holiday with the Family
Because his successful relative never missed a chance to highlight Marcus’s modest work as a teacher, Marcus disliked family vacations.
Marcus, are you still a middle school teacher? I recently closed a deal that will earn you more than you will in your lifetime.
That week, Marcus received a thank-you note from a thirteen-year-old pupil who had been on the edge of suicide before Marcus stepped in. It was in Marcus’s pocket.
Marcus remarked, “You’re right, David.” “You have undoubtedly earned more money than I have. Simply put, I’ve had a greater impact.
- The Husband Who Is Coming Back
Robert claimed he wanted “excitement and passion” in his life, so he left his wife after thirty years for a younger lady. He apologized when he returned home two years later, poor and deserted by the younger woman who had found a richer man.
After opening the door and giving him a long look, his ex-wife responded, “I apologize. Do I recognize you? I’ve gotten really skilled at not identifying folks who are no longer in my life.
She shut the door. He could see her laughing with a good-looking man of her age through the glass.
- The Business Lunch
During a business lunch, Catherine listened to a prospective customer spend 45 minutes expressing his “concerns” about working with a woman in her role.
When he was done, Catherine grinned and added, “I appreciate your candor. I’ve been able to avoid squandering time on a client relationship that wouldn’t be advantageous to us both.
She departed, taking the multi-million dollar contract from her company to his rival.
- The Dietary Guidelines
A stranger stated to Jane while she was eating lunch at a café, “You know, if you ate healthier, you wouldn’t have a weight problem.”
“You know, you wouldn’t have a manners problem if you minded your own business,” Jane said, looking up.
Overhearing, the café owner asked the visitor to leave and gave Jane her dinner for free.
- The Pricey Vehicle
At a red light, an older woman in a little sedan and a young man in a gaudy sports vehicle drove up to each other. He roared, “Nice car, grandma!” and revved his engine. How does it feel to know that you will never be able to buy the car I drive?”Automotive store
“It feels great!” the woman cried back, grinning. I paid off my retirement fund, my children’s college fees, and my house. How are things going with your lease payment?”
The light changed to green. While he battled a stopped engine, she drove off at the speed limit.
- The Work Performance
Daniel was summoned to the office by his manager, who chastised him for his “comfortable mediocrity” and “lack of ambition.”
“Take a look at Jennifer,” remarked the manager. Every night, she remains up late. She is always available. That is dedication.
Daniel gently retorted, “Jennifer stays late because she can’t finish her work during business hours.” I finish mine quickly and return home to my family. I would be pleased to reduce my efficiency if it would make me seem more dedicated.
The manager adjourned the meeting without receiving an answer.
- The Wedding Cancelled
Three weeks prior to the wedding, Emily’s fiancé announced that he had “found his true love” and called off the wedding. Gift baskets
Emily changed the event to a “Freedom Party” after she had already paid non-refundable deposits. She had the DJ play her favorite songs all night long, served all the food and beverages they had ordered, and invited all of their mutual friends.
Security escorted her ex out when he arrived with his new lover. Emily’s picture of herself dancing with her pals while wearing her future wedding gown went viral.
Her ex called to apologize six months later. She didn’t respond.
- The Complaint in the Neighborhood
Concerning the Martinez family’s yard, kids, and “ethnic cooking smells,” Karen had lodged seventeen complaints.
Mrs. Martinez invited everyone in the neighborhood to a celebration of her ancestry after she insisted that they take down their culturally relevant decorations. She “unintentionally” neglected to invite Karen.
From her window, Karen saw as everyone on the block, including the president of the HOA, relished the traditional food, music, and decorations she had been complaining about.
- The Surprise in the Courtroom
When a lady represented herself in court, lawyer James Mitchell thought he would win with ease.
“Your Honor,” he remarked patronizingly, “it is obvious that the plaintiff is ignorant of fundamental legal concepts.”
The woman grinned. “Your Honor, I barely retired last month after teaching at Harvard Law for fifteen years and holding three law degrees. Since this matter is so simple, it would be wasteful for me to hire an attorney, therefore I’m defending myself.
She prevailed. Mitchell’s actions resulted in consequences.
- The Last Instruction
For a semester, Professor Williams had to put up with a student who was always questioning her authority and saying she was “too old to understand modern business.”
The student boasted on the last day of class about the lucrative position at a renowned company that was waiting for him.
“Superb,” exclaimed Professor Williams. “I’m happy my letter of recommendation was helpful. Naturally, I’ll have to send your employer an updated letter that appropriately describes your actions in the classroom.
The pupil’s face turned white. “You penned my suggestion?”
“I attended school with your father. He asked me directly.
In the remaining classes, the student behaved much more politely.
The recurring theme
Underestimating people based on their age, gender, appearance, or occupation is a mistake that frequently results in memorable lessons, which is a universal reality shared by these examples.
The woman who transformed a broken engagement into a celebration, the teacher who prioritized effect over revenue, and the intelligent wife who figured out the math of adultery—all of them embody the strength of rapid thinking, self-respect, and the ideal response.
It turns out that the best kind of retaliation isn’t actually retaliation. It involves leading a good life, thinking clearly, and reacting to disrespect with such grace and wit that there is no space for argument.
Silence is sometimes the best answer. It can occasionally be a mathematical formula. Sometimes it’s just the truth, presented at the right moment.
Keep these tales in mind the next time someone undervalues you. Keep in mind that patience offers the ideal chance for a memorable answer, experience offers perspective, and age brings wisdom.
