My Dad Went Fishing and Missed My 18th Birthday – Here’s How I Felt
My Father Went Fishing with His Friends and Forgot My 18th Birthday
The absence of Ryder’s father on his 18th birthday was a source of disappointment for Ryder, who had anticipated a memorable celebration. As soon as he found out that his father had decided to go fishing with his buddies rather than with him, he felt utterly saddened. Ryder was forced to reconsider everything after what transpired next.
That my father would forget one of the most significant days of my life is something that I never imagined would happen, but here we are.
All of you, hello! Ryder is my name, and I recently turned 18 years old. The first thing I’d want to do is tell you a little bit about my life before I explain what happened on my birthday.
As I was growing up, everything was very typical up until the age of seven. It was at that moment that Mom and Dad came into conflict with one another.
I was too little to understand what was going on or why she was always getting upset with him, but she was always angry.
Then, there was a boom. I am eight years old, and my father has left.
During that particular day, my mother sat me down and told me, “Ryder, sweetie, your father will no longer be living with us.” I remember that moment very clearly. However, you are free to visit him whenever you please, is that okay?
My heart skipped a beat as I felt it. “But why is that, Mom? Have I made a mistake in my actions?
Despite the tears that were welling up in her eyes, Mom smiled. Oh no, my sweetheart. There was nothing wrong with you at all. You are not to blame in any way for this.
“Then why is Dad leaving?”
A big breath was taken by her. When it comes to adulthood, there are moments when it’s just not possible for them to coexist. I, along with your father, put in a lot of effort to make things work out, but there are times when things just don’t turn out the way we had hoped they would.
“Can’t you try harder?” I pleaded with you.
I was squeezed into a hug by her. We made an effort, Ryder. For a really long time. There are times, however, when the most considerate thing we can do is to live apart. Every every day, your father and I will continue to love you. In no way will that ever alter. Simply put, we are not going to continue to reside in the same house.
In a single instant, my parents decided to end their marriage.
Following the conclusion of the divorce, Mom secured a position as an elementary school teacher. She put forth a lot of effort to provide me with a nice life, and I will always be grateful for that.
But what about Dad? When he was in my life, he was like a ghost.
He is perpetually occupied with his work, his pals, and his never-ending list of hobbies. His favorite activity was fishing.
His friends and he would go fishing every weekend, and he would disappear with them. The fact that his mother had contacted him the day before to tell him that she would drop me off at his apartment on Saturday did not stop him from going.
Regardless of everything, there was still a part of me that desired his attention. I desired for him to take notice of me and to feel proud of me.
As a consequence of this, I spent years attempting to win his favor, with the expectation that one day he would understand how much I required his presence.
I had a mistake.
It became very evident over the course of time that his priorities lay elsewhere.
As the date of my eighteenth birthday drew near, I began to wonder if he would come up this time. Remember that turning 18 is a significant milestone, right?
Including my mother and some of my closest friends, I prepared a small party. I even sent a text message to my father about it.
What was his response? It sounds fantastic! I’ll do my best to be there.”
I experienced a glimmer of optimism. If only he were to show up this time, it would be a miracle.
When the big day finally arrived, Mom decided to go all out. She even purchased me a new guitar that I had been coveting for months, in addition to decorating the house with balloons and banners, baking my favorite cake, and selling me a guitar.
“Mom, this is awesome!” I said while giving her a bear hug.
She smiled warmly at me. Nothing but the very best for my son. “Ryder, you are deserving of it.”
It wasn’t long before the house was filled with the sounds of laughter and excitement as friends began to arrive. However, as the hours passed, there was no indication that Dad was present.
I kept checking my phone in the hopes that he would send me a text message, but there was nothing there.
The decision to call him came after I had been waiting for a few hours. I simply could not take it any longer.
However, when I tried to call him, the phone went directly to his voicemail. I made attempts over and over again until he eventually picked up the phone. In the background, I could hear waves and people talking to each other.
He replied, “Hey, kiddo,” as if it were just another day in the world.
I reminded him, “Dad, it’s my birthday,” while making an effort not to come out as needy.
“Oh, you’re correct. To which he answered, “Happy birthday!” As of right now, I am at the lake with the boys. If you don’t mind, I’ll see you later.
“I hung up without uttering a single word.” My eyes were burning, and my eyesight was becoming hazy as a result of my tears. Immediately, I ran to my room and hid there until my mother discovered me.
While she was sitting next to me, she wrapped her arm around my shoulders.
“Thank you very much, honey. You are aware of his character.
“I know,” I stuttered, attempting to maintain my composure. On the other hand, I was completely broken on the inside.
I couldn’t believe that my father had once again forgotten about my birthday. For a while, all I wanted was for him to be there for me. observing me as I blow out candles on my eighteenth birthday. Is it too much to ask for on your part?
The days that followed my birthday happened in a haze. When I was around my friends and my mother, I put on a grin and pretended that everything was normal, but the reality was that I was acting completely differently. I had the sensation of being invisible.
My father’s absence served as a regular reminder to me that he did not place sufficient importance on me.
Finally, when he phoned me a week later, I was able to see his name shown on the screen of my phone. At that moment, he was behaving as if nothing had occurred.
His words were, “Hey, I got you a gift,” and he was right. “Want to come over and get it?”
In spite of the fact that I wanted to tell him to shove it, there was a part of me that continued to cling to that glimmer of hope.
Therefore, I concurred.
A few of hours later, I found myself standing in front of his house.
One of my sons is here! “I’ve got something for you,” he said with a smile, “Come on as you are.”
He escorted me into the living room, where a lengthy and enigmatic bundle was positioned against the wall. I felt my heart sink as I began to unwrap it.
I was given a fishing rod by my father, who smiled proudly as he did so.
He said, “What are your thoughts on this?” “We can go fishing together sometime!”
When I looked at the rod, I had the sensation that someone had punched me in the stomach. In a nutshell, it was the height of treachery, wrapped up in bright paper.
It was clear that he had not given any consideration to what I would require or desire. A sign of his absence was presented to me by him.
It was the very thing that had taken him away from me, and the fishing rod brought back memories of that activity.
“Thanks, Dad,” I smiled despite my anxiety. “It’s… great.”
He did not appear to detect my lack of enthusiasm in any way, shape, or form.
It seems to me that it was high time that you got some training. You are going to have a good time!
I gave a slight nod.
He then inquired, “So, how about the following weekend?” “My buddies and I are making preparations for a trip. You may come and be a part of us!
He caught my attention.
He was the focus of my attention.
It was at that moment when everything suddenly became completely transparent.
The fishing rod was not only an unsuitable present, but it also served as evidence that he would never find me to be his first priority.
In addition to this, it opened my eyes to the fact that he was not inviting me into his universe. Only in an attempt to accommodate me, he was trying to fill in the gaps between his actual interests.
“I… I can’t come next weekend, Dad,” I responded to him. “I’ve got plans with Mom.”
A brief scowl appeared on his face, but it was quickly replaced by a smile.
“No worries,” he answered with confidence, “we’ll find another time.”
I was aware that we would not. In addition, I was content with that for the very first time.
As I was leaving his house while clutching the rod, I became aware of a change occurring within me. The realization dawned on me that I could not continue to pursue someone who was unable to be there for me.
The time has come to let go of the unrealistic expectations and acknowledge the truth.
I concentrated my attention during the subsequent few months on the individuals who actually cared about me. Who exactly were they? My mother, my pals, and that’s me, of course.
In addition to that, I fully immersed myself in my music and spent hours practicing the guitar.
Additionally, in order to express my gratitude to my mother for everything that she had done for me over the years, I started assisting her more around the house.
My mother asked me, “Have you heard from your father lately?” when we were cleaning the dishes together one evening.
I gave a slight shake of my head. “No, but it’s not a problem. This is the last time I will wait for him to arrive.
She gazed at me with a downcast expression. “I am sorry that things transpired in this manner, Ryder. “I have always hoped…”
“I know, Mom,” I said as I hugged her. “But I’ve got you, and that’s more than enough.”
She did a firm grip on me. For a young man, Ryder, you are very remarkable. In no way should you forget that.”
As time went on, I realized that my value was not dependent on the attention that my father gave me. I discovered confidence in the love and support that was all around me.
In addition, Dad has not actually changed at all. As he went about his daily activities, he continued to interact with his friends and lived in a world in which he did not have a place for me.
Because of his behavior, I learned an important lesson: on occasion, individuals will not be what you require them to be, and that is perfectly acceptable. One more thing that I picked up is that it is essential to discover pleasure within oneself and to treasure those that actually see and support one.
A fishing rod, perhaps? There is no sign of anything in my closet at this time.
It is something that I preserve as a remembrance, yet there are moments when I consider selling it. Regarding not what I had lost but rather what I had acquired. The ability to let go of things that I can’t alter, self-respect, and resilience are all important to me.
If you had been in my position, what actions would you have taken next?
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