A Man Asked the Internet for Dad Jokes as He Prepares for Fatherhood – The Results Are Priceless
A Man Was So Excited to Become a Father That He Asked Users for Their Best Dad Jokes: The Internet Delivered
A newlywed father expressed his excitement about fatherhood by asking the internet for their best dad jokes, and the response was overwhelming!
“We just brought our newborn girl into the world, and words cannot express how happy I am about this tiny creature. Although we haven’t been together for very long, I strive to be the greatest father I can be to her every day,” the user wrote.
Although his daughter was mute, the guy estimated that it would only take her around 13 years to learn to roll her eyes at his grating anecdotes. He therefore had to be ready. “I want to be prepared to make her look bad in front of any teacher, waitress, or boyfriend.”
The best dad jokes that were circulated are listed below:
The Traditional Fortune Cookie Myth
My father gets upset every time he reads a fortune cookie and exclaims, “It says ‘Help! I’m imprisoned in a factory that makes fortune cookies! This person needs our assistance!” He’s been doing this for at least thirty years, but neither my siblings nor I have ever fell for it. He may now try it on his grandchildren, who I’m sure won’t fall for it either.
Wonderful Humor
“Please, I’ll have bacon and eggs for breakfast,” said his father.
“How do you like your eggs?” asked the waiter.
Father: “I don’t know, I haven’t gotten them yet!”
Give it to me, socks!
Father: “Do your socks have holes in them?”
Child: “No.”
Your dad: “Then how’d you get your feet in them?”
Cemetery Laughs
“Why are there gates in graveyards? since a rush of people is forming to enter.” Every time he passed a cemetery, my dad would tell it.
Reverse Flashback
Reversing the car, Dad exclaimed, “Ahh, this takes me back.”
Bar Lift
Three men entered a pub. One would have thought to have seen it.
Rumble in the Restaurant
Not that it’s a joke per such, but sometimes when I go to a restaurant, the waitress asks, “Do you wanna box for that?” I usually say, “No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.” in response. It makes me giggle, but no one ever gets it. Isn’t that the main idea, then?
Obtaining a Cremation
“Anyone can get buried when they die; if you want to be cremated, you have to urn it.”
Elephant Retreat
Do you know why it’s rare to spot an elephant curled up under a tree? due of their exceptional skill in it.”
Graveyard Humper
Your dad: “Did you know that the people living nearby actually can’t be buried in that cemetery?”
Youngster: “Why?”
Father: “Because they’re not dead yet.”
Theft of Antidepressants
“Last night, someone broke in and took all of my antidepressants.” I hope they are content.
shady trees
“Dad, can we go play?” my girls ask when we’re at the park.
My response: “Sure, just stay away from those trees over there.”
Girls: “Well, why?” and “Um.”
You: “I don’t know… they look a little shady to me.”
Gym Slang
“I haven’t been to the gym in so long I’ve gone back to calling it James.”
Frustrated Fish
“When the fish ran into a wall, what did he say? “Damn!”
Affair Scandal
One day, my dad sat me down and told me that he had been having an affair while my mother was on vacation. Dead serious, he tells me it’s not worth it because she once urged him to come over because no one was home when it was happening. He proceeded to knock, but received no response. since no one was residing there.
I was concerned about their marriage, even though everything seemed like a set-up for a joke.
Simulated kidnapping
“This is the real deal, I’ve been a dad for 26 years, and I was kidnapped by a group of mimes.” They subjected me to horrifying acts.”
Low-cost Chicken
Dad: “What do you have that’s cheap?” during lunch. so I’m not really that hungry.”
The server: “Well, maybe the chicken strips for $6.”
Father: “Well, maybe it does, but that doesn’t help my hunger.”
Pun related to pregnancy
The wife tells her spouse, “I’m pregnant.”
Attempting to be humorous, the husband says to his wife, “Hi pregnant, I’m Dad.”
Husband: “No, you’re not.”
Joy and Pride
This one’s from my father. He was introducing me to several friends in a conversation.
My father: “This is my pride and joy, my only son… I think.”
It’s not long, but it had me laughing out loud.
Dad Joke Standards
“What distinguishes a joke from a Dad joke? When it becomes clear…”
Wishes for a Weekend
“Well, what kind of weekend should I have if you DO see me again?” is my response to anyone who says, “If I don’t see you again, have a great weekend.” Every time, it makes me smile. Them? Not in that way.
Haircut Mischiefs
“Did you get a haircut?” my students will inquire.
You: “Nope, I got them all cut, thank you for noticing.”
Wonder Without Wings
“What’s the term for a fly without wings? a stroll.”
Finish in Norway
We’re almost finishing our meal when the server asks, “Are you finished?”
At every restaurant I’ve ever been to, my dad has said, “No, Norwegian.”
Nothing Remains
“Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?” asked Dad as he read the paper.
Me: “No.”
Father: “Well, he’s all right now.”
This new dad is prepared to make his daughter laugh and roll her eyes for years to come with a vast repertoire of hilarious dad jokes that he’s brought with him when he sets out on his parenting journey. He’s already off to a tremendous start in his role as the finest dad ever, thanks to the internet. A lot more smiles and treasured moments are in store for us!
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