Am I the Villain for Telling My Husband’s Ex I’m His Favorite Because He Chose Me?

Am I Wrong for Telling My Husband’s Ex That I Must Have Been His Favorite Girlfriend Since He Married Me?

Phoebe thought she had finally found her happily ever after with Caleb. But one evening, Caleb’s ex-girlfriend Patty had an unexpected reaction to a remark made in passing at a bar. Phoebe encountered an unexpected turn as the truth came to light.

We were merely kids with goofy smiles and way too many freckles when I met Caleb. He was twelve when we first met. Like an old tree’s roots, our lives became entwined, growing at times together and at other times apart but always finding a way to return to one another.

We’d shared more moments together than most couples do in a lifetime by the time we turned 22. We broke up, assuming at the time that it was for the best, but life has a funny way of complicating things.

After 17 years, life offered us another opportunity. We have been married for a little more than two years after our reconnection three years ago. Both Caleb and I are in our forties, and although it seems far away, our past is an integral part of our tale.

“Can you believe it took us almost two decades to get it right?” Caleb and I stood at the altar, and I chuckled as I looked into his eyes.

“Better late than never,” he said with a smile. “Phoebe, I knew my life would never be the same after meeting you. I swear to love and treasure you, and to never take this time we have together for granted.”

My eyes filled with tears. “Caleb, despite our ups and downs, every moment has led to this point. I promise to support you, adore you unconditionally, and make sure we always end up together.”

With friends and family who had followed our on-again, off-again romance develop, the ceremony was lovely. Patty, Caleb’s ex, was one among the well-wishers.

Patty and my spouse ended their relationship amicably. Every now and then, she reaches out to wish us a happy birthday, a Merry Christmas, and congratulations on our impending marriage.

We made plans to go out to the local bar one Saturday night. It was a nice place with soft lighting and a jukebox that played more old songs than new ones. Patty entered just as we were getting comfortable with our drinks. She noticed us and smiled as she approached.

“Hey, stranger!” she exclaimed, giving Caleb a hug and her eyes brightening.

Caleb said, “Patty, good to see you,” with warmth.

She turned to face me, “Phoebe, you look amazing.”

“Many thanks, Patty. You as well.”

As we sat down together, the beverages went down easy and so did the chat. We were talking about the good old days in no time at all.

“Remember that time we went to that awful karaoke bar?” With a giggle, Patty looked from Caleb to me.

“Yes, dear God. I laughed, thinking that Caleb was going to smash the microphone.

“Hey, I sound like an angel,” a beaming Caleb exclaimed.

The themes became more intimate as the evening went on. With a cheeky gleam in her eye, Patty inclined closer to Caleb. “Well, at least I will always be your favorite girlfriend.”

Her words lingered momentarily in the air. Despite the knot in my stomach, I forced myself to laugh. “Wouldn’t I be his favorite girlfriend since I’m the one he married?” I spoke in a light-hearted but stern tone.

Patty’s grin vanished. She sat up, having completed her drink. “I believe I will end the evening. Nice to see you two.

Caleb began to say, “Patty, don’t go,” but she had already turned to leave.

Caleb’s phone chimed later that night as we were wrapping things up. Patty sent a lengthy note.

“Caleb, Given her age, Phoebe’s jealousy, immaturity, petty grudges, and meanness startled me greatly. I assumed she would feel more confident about herself and your marriage. You should feel compassion for people other than her. It always meant a lot to me that you told me all those years ago that I was your favorite girlfriend. Why she had to spoil that is beyond me.

With a groan, Caleb massaged his temples. “I can’t believe she sent this.”

“Who sent what?” Perplexed by Caleb’s response, I inquired.

“Patty. She texted her reason for leaving the bar. And she’s holding you accountable for everything,” Caleb replied, considering his words carefully.

“But Caleb, I didn’t mean to…” I had no idea what to say.

With a look of worry on his face, Caleb turned to face me. “There was nothing wrong with you, Phoebe. Allow me to take care of this.”

I saw him as he methodically selected his words while typing a reply to Patty. “Patty, I apologize if Phoebe’s remarks offended you; nonetheless, she was merely expressing a fact. I married her precisely because she is my favorite.”

It took a few minutes for Patty to respond.

“Caleb, even with a pistol to your head, you always vowed you’d never get married, so she feels she’s better than me. However, you proposed to her after just one month, and you were wed in eight and a half. The speed at which you changed for her hurts.”

With a groan, Caleb resumed his typing.

“That’s not accurate, Patty. Phoebe doesn’t believe she is superior to anyone. She didn’t say anything incorrectly, and I really apologize if you’re upset. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Phoebe and fell in love with her once more. I beg you to refrain from making false statements about her and to never speak to her in that manner again.”

Setting down his phone, he turned to face me. “I hope that clears things up.”

My voice trembled a little as I continued, “I truly never in a million years would want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” “You marry the person you love, so that’s why I stated I was your favorite. If someone isn’t your favorite, why would you marry them?”

Caleb encircled me with his arms. “You are entirely correct. Patty is merely attending to her personal problems. You don’t deserve this.”

I met up with my closest friend Luna at our go-to coffee shop the following morning. Luna had a talent for seeing things from many angles.

She stirred her latte and added, “So, Patty is all upset because you said you’re Caleb’s favorite?”

Yes, I sighed. She called me petty and envious, yet all I was doing was expressing the truth. Am I in error here?”

Luna firmly stated, “Phoebe, you didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.” “Perhaps Patty is experiencing some difficulties. It’s possible that she recently went through a breakup and is venting to you. Keep it from affecting you.”

I responded, “I guess,” still feeling uneasy. “It just bothers me that she thinks I’m trying to compete with her.”

Luna grabbed my hand from across the table. “She is not a concern. Pay attention to your connection with Caleb. Recall that he choose you.”

With a slight sense of relief, I chose to concentrate on my day. But Patty’s words continued to nag at the back of my mind.

I discovered Caleb preparing dinner in the kitchen later that night.

“Do you think Patty’s right?” Leaning against the counter, I questioned.

He looked up from the chopping board and said, “About what?”

“about how selfish and insecure I am. Perhaps I should have refrained from speaking.”

Setting down the knife, Caleb approached me. You are the most assured and self-assured person I have ever met, Phoebe. Don’t let Patty’s problems cause you to question your own abilities. You are quite entitled to feel the way that you do.”

I groaned, “I just don’t want any drama.”

“There won’t be any,” he replied, embracing me tightly. “I love you, and that’s all that matters.”

We had a little party at our place the next weekend. Luna and several other close friends were present. Just when we were all enjoying ourselves, my phone buzzed. It was one of Patty’s other messages.

“I believed we had decided that Caleb and I would remain friends. Phoebe, this isn’t fair. I’m being forced out of his life by you.”

When I showed Luna the note, she arched an eyebrow. “She’s really not letting this go, is she?”

“What should I do?” I questioned, conflicted.

Luna said, “Maybe it’s time to have a face-to-face talk with her.” “Clear the air once and for all.”

I was uneasy with that thought, but I knew she was correct. After Caleb gave his OK, we planned to meet Patty the next day at a calm café.

Patty was there waiting for us, fidgeting with her coffee cup. As we got closer, she raised her gaze, hatred and hope mixed together in her eyes.

“Patty,” I whispered as I inhaled deeply. “Our goal in having this conversation is to gain a deeper understanding of the situation. We desire no ill will between us.

Her voice cracking, “I just feel like you’re taking Caleb away from me,” she whispered. “We were good friends, and now it feels like I’ve lost him completely.”

Caleb responded softly, “Patty, we’re not trying to push you out.” “However, circumstances have evolved. Now that I’m married, Phoebe is my top focus. There must be limits, but it doesn’t mean we can’t remain friends.”

Patty said, “I don’t know if I can handle that,” as tears started to form. “It’s hard seeing you with someone else.”

“I comprehend,” I mutely said. “But you need to show consideration for our bond. Together, Caleb and I are creating a life, and we need you to help, not interfere.”

With a hesitant nod, Patty wiped her eyes. “I’ll make an effort. Simply said, It will require some time.

Caleb responded, “We get that.” “But we must all proceed now. Let’s proceed cautiously at first.”

I felt like a burden was lifted as we exited the café. Although it wasn’t an ideal answer, it was a start. And I felt optimistic about the future for the first time in many days.

In my position, how would you have responded?

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