Our Secret Code Word Saved the Day – Here’s Why You Need One with Your Loved Ones

My Daughter and I Have a ‘Code Word’ – What Happened Yesterday Is Why You Should Have One with Your Loved Ones Too

Weekend visits to her father are nothing new for my young girl, but this time something happened that made my heart race. Our daughter let me know she needed an escape route when she asked to speak with me on the phone and mentioned our code word. This is why knowing code words is a crucial safety tip for our children.

My mother taught me a code phrase when I was a little child so that I could use it if I was in difficulty and unable to speak up. I made the mature decision to teach my infant daughter this wonderful technique. I reasoned that she might utilize it to avoid awkward hangouts or sleepovers. However, I never thought she would need to use it so quickly.

I therefore assumed that yesterday was just like any other day. My phone rang while I was sipping my evening coffee in my kitchen. It was Dave, my ex-husband. Over the years, our once-warm and affectionate relationship had become strained.

Divorce had a way of doing that, and although we made an effort to keep our relationship amicable for Amy’s sake, we were frequently at odds. Dave said, his voice a little shaky, “Hey, Claire.” “Amy wishes to speak with you. Ever since she arrived, she has been requesting to share her day with you.”

I was not prepared for this. Amy seldom called me when she visited her dad for overnight weekends, usually enjoying the time spent together. “Oh, sure, put her on,” I said, attempting to maintain my composure. I was starting to feel uneasy in my stomach, and Dave’s voice seemed a little strange.

“Hi, Mom!” Even though Amy sounded as happy as ever, there was something off about the way she spoke. She usually did not do this, so I sat up and paid close attention.

“Hey, my love! What’s up for you this weekend? Have you been enjoying yourself?” In an attempt to keep the conversation light, I asked.

Yes, it has been enjoyable. Yesterday, we visited a park, and this morning, I took some drawings. I sketched a tree, a dog, and… To sketch blueberries, I wish I had a blue marker.”

I was struck completely dumb by the words! It was our code word, right there. My pulse skipped a beat, and I momentarily lost my voice. In the midst of her juvenile banter, Amy had mentioned our “password.”

I instilled in my daughter the value of having a secret word when she was younger. She may utilize it if she ever felt unsafe but was unable to express it verbally. Although “blueberries” was our word, I never thought she would really use it.

I took a deep breath and tried not to panic because the meaning of the word is “leave me alone.” “Honey, it sounds wonderful. I’m heading over to pick you up. I beg you not to speak to your father. When I get there, I’ll speak with him.”

“Did you have anything else you wanted to tell me?”

“No, that’s it,” she answered, her voice still lovely but with a hint of something else—fear perhaps? Uncertainty? Though I couldn’t be certain, I was certain that I needed to get her out of there.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” I said in the most casual way I could.

“All right, Mom. I cherish you.”

“Love you too, my Amy Wamy.”

My hands shook as I hung up the phone and heard her laugh. My thoughts were racing, trying to piece together how this could have happened. Although Dave had never given me any cause to question his abilities to raise our kid, there was obviously a problem.

With my mind made up, I grabbed my keys. I had to fetch Amy from my ex’s house.

Upon reaching my destination, I inhaled deeply before tapping on the door. I was shocked to see that it was a woman I didn’t recognize answering instead of Dave. She was curious and irritated at the same time as she glanced at me. With a tight tone, she questioned, “Can I help you?”

“I’m here to pick up my daughter,” I said, trying not to let my voice waver. “Is Dave home?”

Her arms crossed, “He’s just gone out to run some quick errands,” she answered. “But Amy is on the inside. “Who are you?”

“I’m Claire, Amy’s mother,” I replied, growing impatient. “And you are?”

There was no change in the woman’s expression. “My name is Lisa. Dave’s partner. It had been several weeks since we moved in together.”

I blinked in surprise. Dave had never disclosed the existence of his girlfriend, much less the fact that she had moved in. Why hadn’t Amy mentioned this earlier? However, this was not the moment to inquire. My daughter needed to leave there, so I had to.

“Well, Lisa, I just remembered that Amy has a doctor’s appointment early in the morning, and there are some things we need to go through before then,” I told you, trying a grin. “I completely neglected to tell Dave about it. I’ll simply grab her and return her at a later time.”

Lisa didn’t seem to be persuaded, but she also didn’t object. “Fine, but I’ll let Dave know.”

I responded, “Of course,” and walked past her into the home. With her petite figure curled up, Amy was coloring in a book while seated on the couch. Her face brightened at the sight of me, yet I could see the relief in her eyes.

Trying to keep things light, I said, “Hello, sweetie.” “We need to go to prepare for the doctor tomorrow, remember?”

With a nod, Amy got up and held her book close to her chest. She followed me out of the home without saying anything. Lisa narrowed her eyes and watched us depart, but she did not stop us.

After getting into the car and leaving, I took a quick look at my kid. “You okay, baby?” I made a gentle inquiry. Amy agreed at first, but as the stress of the moment subsided, she started crying.

In between gasps, she attempted to communicate. “Mom, Lisa… Lisa is mean to me when Dad isn’t around.”

“What do you mean, sweetie?” With a broken heart, I asked.

Amy said, “She says things,” as tears fell down her cheeks. She claims that I shouldn’t be there and that I’m annoying. She said that since I’m still a child, my father wouldn’t believe me if I told him. I should stay in my room and not bother them, she replied.

The rage that erupted within me was nearly blinding! How dare this woman treat my kid in this manner when she had no business being in her life? “You told me, and that was the correct thing to do, Amy. I tried to sound cool as I said, “I’m so proud of you.”

“You are under no obligation to interact with her in the future if you so choose. Okay, I’ll speak with your father and we’ll work this out.

Amy used the back of her hand to dab at her tears as she nodded. “Okay, Mom.”

I embraced Amy tightly and told her how much I loved her as soon as we arrived home. I grabbed up my phone and called Dave after she had settled in her room with her favorite stuffed animal. After the third ring, he answered.

Hey Claire, is there anything new going on? Lisa told me you stopped by and abducted Amy when I just got home.

“Yes, something happened,” I replied, unable to control my rage. “Dave, Amy utilized our secret word today. Lisa has been saying terrible things to her while you’re not there, which is why she wants to leave.”

On the other end of the telephone, there was a prolonged stillness. “What? It’s not possible; Lisa wouldn’t—”

“Yes, Dave, she did. By the time we got into the car, Amy was crying. She only spoke to me in this way because she was afraid of your girlfriend and couldn’t figure out how to tell you.”

“I apologize, Claire. I was completely ignorant. I will speak with Lisa. This is not acceptable.

“No, it’s not,” I remarked, becoming softer in tone. But Amy is the most crucial factor. It is she who we should be considering.”

Dave responded, “You’re right,” with a dejected tone I had never heard him exhibit. “I’ll take care of it. I swear.”

I sat on the couch feeling emotionally spent after we hung up. Though this wasn’t how I had planned to spend my weekend, I was relieved that Amy felt secure enough to divulge our secret word. Even though it was little, it had a huge impact.

I made up my mind right then and there that my little girl needed a phone. Although I was aware that technology could hinder her growth, I thought it would be useful if she could use it to text me.

It dawned on me how important it was that other parents have something comparable in place as I sat down on the couch and thought back on everything that had transpired. My Amy was able to reach out without feeling exposed or vulnerable because to that code phrase.

It also gave me the opportunity to intervene before things became worse. Nevertheless, selecting a code word requires more thought than just picking any old phrase; there are a few crucial guidelines to follow in order to establish a strong “password.”

First of all, avoid using everyday terms that may be used regularly in conversation. You don’t want the word to be casually brought up and unnecessarily frighten others.

These are words, like “school,” “birthday,” colors, and so forth, that are easily guessed by others. It shouldn’t be a readily apparent item.

Second, if your youngster is old enough to recall it, think of a sentence. An additional degree of protection can be added with a single, memorable sentence or a pair of words. It need to be something that is simple for your child to remember yet difficult for others to guess.

Terms such as “blue apple,” “dancing penguin,” “sunshine forest,” and others. It is advisable to put it to the test to make sure your child can recall it with ease in a variety of situations, such as when she is relaxed or under stress.

Play pretend games with your kids as the third rule. To ensure they know precisely when and how to use the code phrase, practice using it in a variety of contexts. If they ever need to use it, this will make them feel ready and confident.

Our experience served as a potent reminder of the significant impact that a seemingly straightforward plan could have. By telling our tale, I hope to encourage more parents to think about teaching their kids a code word. It could be exactly the instrument they require at a crucial juncture.

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