8 Hilarious Neighbor Jokes That Hit Close to Home
8 Hilarious Jokes about Neighbors
Have you ever wondered if the people living next to you are aliens? You’ll be persuaded by these hilarious stories! Prepare yourself for so much laughter that you might startle everyone on the block!
Explore these eight humorous, rib-tickling, knee-slapping jokes that will have you rolling on the ground before you can say “comedy gold.” Without further ado, let’s get right into this joke.
- The Astute Attorney
Imagine this: Looking more worried than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, a guy enters into a lawyer’s office. He collapses into the chair, exclaiming, “Wow, am I in trouble already! I owe my neighbor $500, but he won’t pay me back.”
The attorney reclines, swirling his pen as if he were trying out for a drum major job. “Well, my friend, do you have any proof he owes you this money?”
Our anxious hero bursts like a deflated balloon. “Nope, not a shred.”
This is where the good stuff starts. The attorney’s eyes brighten as though he’s just won the lotto. “Okay, so this is what you’re going to do. Send him a letter requesting the $1,000 you are owed.”
The man’s eyebrows rise so quickly that they almost fall off his face. “But… it’s only $500!”
Like the cat that ate the canary, the lawyer grinned. “Exactly! He’ll respond with that, and presto! You possess your evidence.”
You can almost see the lightbulb over our guy’s head as he leaves. I had no idea lawyers could be that cunning.
- The Campers in Their Backyards
Two children are camping in their backyard next. You know, since you can pretend to be camping in your own backyard and save yourself the trouble of actually going camping?
One of the two young explorers asks, “Hey, what time do you think it is?” as they sit there gazing up at the stars.
It would have been easy for his friend to shrug and say, “I dunno.” But no, this child is a small diabolical genius when it comes to problem-solving. He continues, grinning, “Just make a whole lot of noise.”
The first child gives him a look as if he’s just advised them to eat their own shoes. Being a good sport, though, he shrugs and lets out a loud yell.
Abruptly, a light in the neighbor’s house flickers on. A bellowing voice and an irate visage emerge from the window, shouting, “You crazy kids! Two o’clock in the morning!”
The second child turns to his pal and smiles smugly as the light goes out and the guys choke back their laughter. “Observe? Issue resolved.”
I mean, who needs a watch when you have nasty neighbors?
- The Unfriendly Canine
Now imagine this sight. While strolling along the street, a man notices his neighbor with a cute and cuddly puppy in the backyard. Who doesn’t enjoy cuddling with a dog, now?
Thus, our acquaintance who loves dogs yells, “Hey buddy! Could I please pet your dog?”
With a proud smile, the neighbor says, “Oh, go ahead! He’s a cutie who has never bitten anyone in his life.”
Inspired, our main character stoops to give the fluffy angel a pat. However, before you can say “Scooby Snack,” the dog bites his fingers before aiming for a more—um—private target.
He yells, “Ouch!” and leaps back as quickly as his legs will let. “I thought you said your dog was a sweetheart and doesn’t bite!”
The neighbor turns to face him, then turns back to face the dog. That’s true, he replies with a shrug that would win him an Olympic gold medal for nonchalance, but that’s not my dog.
The story’s lesson? Make sure you are caressing the right dog at all times. Consider purchasing some chain mail gloves as well.
- The Freeloader on WiFi
Here’s a tragedy for the present era. The sigh that descends from our next joker is louder than the Mariana Trench:
“Yesterday, my internet stopped working. My inexpensive neighbor might have neglected to pay the bill. How careless.”
Let’s take a brief break now. Can you picture the terror? The sheer daringness? Our narrator, who is naive and poor, is attempting to binge-watch the most recent season of “Squirrel Ninja Warriors” or something similar when all of a sudden, nothing happens. Nothing at all. None at all.
And all because their neighbor, the master freeloader, was too lazy to bother paying their bill. The audacity! It’s nearly enough to entice you to… Pay for your own internet or whatever, I’m not sure. Let’s not get carried away, though.
- The Driller Without Sleep
Next up is a hero who’s almost had enough of the noise and is sleep exhausted. He approaches his neighbor’s house with a dejected expression like to a poor tattoo.
He yells, “Hey, dude!” “Can I borrow your electric drill?”
With a bewildered and possibly worried expression, the neighbor inquires, “What do you need it for?”
With bags under his eyes large enough to fit a weeklong vacation bag, our worn-out main character says, “I want to get some sleep.”
Now, if you’re scratching your head, wondering how anyone can get any sleep with an electric drill, you’re not alone!
However, it’s possible that he intends to scold the person supporting him. Or maybe he’s going to build the most complex white noise machine ever. In any case, good job on the originality!
- Marshmallow Accident
Now, everyone, get comfortable for this one. It’s a story about miscommunication, marshmallows, and extremely poor timing.
So, in the backyard, our hero and his friends are having a great time. Life is fantastic, they have a bonfire burning, and they are cooking marshmallows. They hear sirens all of a sudden. As inquisitive and inquisitive neighbors, they all rush to investigate the situation.
The house across the street is on fire, as you can see! When they get there, the entire nine yards is filled with desperate homeowners and firefighters.
The wife notices our group of marshmallow roasters standing there, attempting to act appropriately alarmed. And boy, our hero and his friends would be six feet under if appearances could murder.
You might wonder, why? Now imagine this: They are staring at someone else’s misery while clutching their sticks full of marshmallows and appearing as though they are taking in the day’s catastrophe up close.
Oh, what a mistake! Before rubbernecking at the next neighborhood catastrophe, I’ll guarantee they’ll think twice. Leave the snacks at home, at the very least.
- The Absent Spouse
Now, everyone, buckle up for this one. An example of “be careful what you wish for” in classic form!
So, a wife reports her husband missing and marches into the police station with her next-door neighbor in tow. In the interest of due diligence, the officer requests a description.
Eyes dreamy, the lady begins to rattle off details about her husband, saying things like, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, dark eyes, dark wavy hair, athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, soft-spoken, and he’s just wonderful with the children.”
As she listened to this account of a fairy tale, the neighbor appeared as though she had just bit into a lemon. She burst out, unable to contain herself any longer, “Hold up! Your spouse is crueler to your children than a cartoon stepmother, is 5 feet 4 inches tall, obese, bald, and has a mouth the size of the Grand Canyon.”
Calm as an ox, the lady shrugs and replies, “Yeah, but who wants THAT guy back?”
It’s possible that occasionally, a little inventive “misremembering” can improve your chances of finding love—or at the very least, your missing person’s report!
- The Adoration of the Daughter
We have a family drama for our grand finale that will make your favorite soap opera seem mild!
Looking as anxious as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, Brandy approaches her mother Lola for a meaningful conversation. Lola nods, perhaps picturing the worst-case possibilities of getting pierced, getting tattoos, or even—gasp!—deciding not to go to college.
As soon as they settle down to enjoy some coffee, Brandy begins to fidget like she’s perched on a cactus. “Mom,” she murmurs, “you know Chris, the neighbor I study with?”
Lola nods, presumably thinking to herself, “Oh good, boy trouble again.”
But hold on! There’s more! “And you know his dad, Donald?” asks Brandy further.
Lola now has the worried appearance of a November turkey. “Uh-huh…”
After inhaling deeply, Brandy exclaims, “I think I’m in love with him!”
Lola almost spits her coffee out. She yells, “I won’t allow it!”
“Mom, you can’t tell me who to love!” Brandy retaliates.
“He could be your father!” Looking like she could pass out, Lola exclaims.
Reluctant to change her mind, Brandy says, “I don’t care about the age difference!”
Sighing, Lola realizes her daughter has got the whole thing wrong. “I think you misunderstood me.”
Folks, there you have it! A good example of generational miscommunication with a hint of possible scandal inside the family. In the neighborhood, it’s just another day, right?
Recall that a day devoid of laughter is akin to one without of sunlight, with the exception that laughing cannot result in tanning. For case you need a fast laugh, carry these jokes around in your back pocket, and don’t hesitate to tell your neighbors about them. The part about borrowing the drill may be omitted; we don’t want to give anyone any ideas!
Until the next time, carry on loving and laughing, and please, please, pay attention to whose dog you are patting!
Enjoy these jokes?
