My MIL Brought a Thanksgiving Turkey with My Photo on It — But the Joke Was on Her
My MIL Brought a Thanksgiving Turkey with My Photo on It — but I Got the Last Laugh
During Thanksgiving, my mother-in-law Gloria crossed a queue when she walked into the house carrying a turkey that had a picture of my face on it. The “joke” that she played in front of the family was the final straw that broke the egg. But Gloria had no idea that I had a plan to make her stunt the talk of the town, and I had a plan to make it the talk of the town for all the wrong reasons.
In most cases, when people talk about their in-laws, they are referring to the mild interference that they do, such as turning up unannounced, reorganising your kitchen, or asking an excessive amount of questions about the decisions you make in your life.
Gloria, who was my late husband’s mother, was a very different kind of person. Not only was she a sabotage, but she was also a meddler.
Upon our initial encounter, she greeted me with a friendly grin, placed her hand on my shoulder, and asked, “Well, aren’t you simply… ordinary? In a positive sense, that is. A little more stability would be helpful for Mark.
From that point on, things just got worse. Gloria’s area of expertise has evolved into passive-aggressive dominance during the course of her career. Compliments that were not compliments, suggestions that I did not ask for, and small gestures such as “correcting” my cooking in the middle of the dish or bringing “extras” to dinners that I had diligently arranged.
Mark referred to it as love. I referred to it as warfare.
Because of this, we are now at Thanksgiving, which is our Thanksgiving. Now that Mark and I had finally purchased our first home, we were entertaining for the very first time. Prior to that, we had spent years living in cramped flats. On this particular occasion, I had the opportunity to shine, or at the very least, to cook a pie without someone else coming in with “a better recipe.”
I desired for everything to be flawless. The home was filled with the aroma of cinnamon and roasted turkey, the dinner table was adorned with real cloth napkins (a luxury), and the apple pie crust that I made was, if I may say so myself, worthy of being featured in a magazine.
In spite of the fact that she is notoriously finicky, my Aunt Claire sniffed in approval and murmured, “Not bad, Steph.”
I was under the impression that I had successfully won over the family for a little period of time. Afterward, Gloria showed up.
Even before I saw her, I could hear the sound of her heels clicking against the driveway which heralded her coming. It was only a fraction of a second later when the front door opened without so much as a knock, and there she was, magnificent in every way. In no circumstance did Gloria merely enter a room; rather, she occupied it.
It appeared as though she was presenting the Olympic flame as she was balancing a covered plate.
She made the announcement, “Hello, everyone!” “A turkey has been brought by me. In order to make it more memorable for you.”
Not a turkey. Obviously, she had done so.
I paused in the middle of my step, the smile that I had been wearing becoming as rigid as weekend leftovers. “Oh, yes. I am so… considerate.
It was nothing, she remarked with a dismissive wave, pushing by me and headed right for the kitchen as if she owned the place. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she said. “In addition, you could require a backup backup. Do you know that these things might be somewhat challenging?
As a backup. as a turkey for me. My turkey, which I had been basting and watching over all morning, is currently cooking in the oven till it reaches a golden perfection.
When I decided to clench my teeth so tightly, I was shocked that they did not break.
With as much composure as I could muster, I informed Gloria that everything was under control. “Gloria, everything is under control,” I responded. The sound that was produced was more akin to the strained whine of a teakettle that was about to rupture. “But thank you.”
The brief delay that she took allowed her to offer me one of her distinctive smiles with her lips tightly pursed. This was the kind of smile that could cause milk to get curdled. Without a doubt. “I’m just here to lend a hand.”
My husband, Mark, who is known for his diplomatic nature, selected that particular moment to enter the room as if he could sense the emotional landmines that were scattered around.
He put his hand on my shoulder to provide me with support. It was a soothing tone that he used when he said, “It’s fine, babe,” but the flicker of worry that was visible in his eyes deceived him. Only two turkeys will be provided for us. More leftovers, is that correct?
As I gently turned to face him, I let my facial expression to do all of the talking. A betrayer.
“Exactly!” Gloria chirped, with a palpable sense of triumph in her voice. Can you tell me where the carving set is? In the event that your sharpener is not up to the task, I brought my own sharpener with me here.
For a brief period of time, I entertained the idea of employing the cutting set for a purpose other than executing fowl slices. Instead, I glued on a smile that reminded me more of a grimace than anything else.
To my utter surprise, supper turned out to be good, or at the very least, better than I had anticipated.
A lot of people like the sweet potatoes, which were stuffed with butter and brown sugar. My cranberry sauce had the ideal combination of sour and sweet flavours, and the stuffing, which was a recipe that belonged to my grandmother, was so delicious that even the most picky of my family expressed their admiration.
I allowed myself to let out a sigh of relief for a little instant, and I came to the conclusion that I had succeeded.
Even Gloria appeared to be momentarily restrained as she sipped her wine and made a few remarks that were only slightly polite regarding the arrangement of the table. Nevertheless, it was only a matter of time until she made her next move, since it was obvious that she would do so.
She was always prepared with a following move.
“Everyone!” The sound of Gloria’s voice reverberated throughout the space, resembling the way a maestro would silence an orchestra. In an effort to attract attention, she clinked her glass and then rose from her seat with a dramatic flair. “I thought it would be fun to add a little… personal touch to my turkey this year.”
Even though the fork was halfway to my mouth, I froze. There was complete silence in the room, and everyone’s attention was drawn to Gloria as she approached with her dish that was covered.
She removed the lid in a carefully measured manner, as if she were unwrapping a valuable artefact. I was convinced that I was hallucinating for a fraction of a second.
After the turkey had been roasted to perfection, she ornamented it with a laminated photograph of my face that was pinned in the exact middle of the breast.
At that moment, the truth struck me like a slap, and my stomach fell to the floor.
As a group, everyone in the room let out a collective gasp. Aunt Claire gasped for air as she choked on her wine and aggressively coughed into her serviette. One of Mark’s younger cousins, who was only twenty years old and was always acting inappropriately, exclaimed out loud, “Whoa.”
As Gloria stood there, beaming, her hands were placed on her hips as if she had just revealed a masterpiece or something. “I just thought,” she replied with a tone that was dripping with the appearance of innocence, “it would be fitting, since Stephanie has been such a turkey this year!”
It was with apprehension that the laughter began; there were timid chuckles here and there, as if everyone was waiting to see if this was actually taking place.
But Gloria did not show any reluctance. Her chuckle was full-bodied and victorious in its delivery. It was as if she was wallowing in her own glory, taking pleasure in the havoc that she had initiated.
The word “humiliated” can not even begin to encapsulate how I felt at that very moment.
My hands were clenching the edge of the table till my knuckles became white, and my face that was burning, hot, and prickly was also burning. It was done by her. I was humiliated in front of everyone in my own home by her, and she had managed to do it. Once more.
On the other hand, things were different this time. At this point, I would not allow her to prevail.
As I attempted to stabilise myself, I took a big breath. After that, I rose up and picked up my phone with a purposeful feeling of calmness.
“Wow, Gloria,” I exclaimed, my tone of voice sugary and lovely. This is… something else entirely. In a way, you truly surpassed yourself. I held the phone vertically and took a picture, allowing the flash to illuminate her smug grin as it was captured. “Everyone’s going to want to see this.”
For a brief instant, Gloria’s sneer took a momentary pause. “Oh, it’s just a little joke—”
I began by saying, “Creative genius,” while my grin grew wider. “Really, you should share this talent with the world.”
As she blinked, it was obvious that she was unclear of how to interpret my response.
While Mark was observing the conversation with the apprehension of someone who was attempting to defuse a bomb, he gave me a glance that conveyed the message, “What are you doing?” The wheels in my head were already working when I smiled at him in a completely innocent manner.
In her mind, Gloria had triumphed. On the other hand, she was completely unaware of what was going to happen.
Following the departure of everyone else, I sat down with a glass of wine and took out my laptop. Was Gloria looking for attention? That’s fine. I would give it to her, and it would be more than she could have ever imagined.
I made a Facebook event with the name “Gloria’s Annual Turkey Roast,” and I tagged all of her friends in it. I also uploaded the photographs that I had taken of her masterpiece.
It was said in the caption, “Do you require a centrepiece for your holiday table?” The bespoke ‘turkey selfies’ that Gloria has been taking are the talk of the season! Make your reservations for Christmas right away!
Within a few of hours, the comments began rapidly flowing in:
Holy cow, Gloria! In a revolutionary way, this is. Would I be able to accomplish this on my own with a roast beef?
“Are you able to manufacture one with the face of my ex-husband on it? This would be an excellent choice for my Christmas celebration.
In addition, members of her religious group participated, although their reactions were not as enthusiastic:
“Gloria, this is… very extraordinary. You can count on me to pray for your creative endeavours.
“Is this for a social cause? Tell me that this is for a charitable cause, please.
“Will Pastor John get a special turkey for the Christmas potluck?”
By morning, the post had already gained widespread attention in our neighbourhood. A flood of phone calls and text messages poured in for Gloria. When she arrived at my door, she was furious and had a crimson face.
At that moment, she yelled, “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?”
I gave a charming smile. Oh Gloria, I had the impression that you would adore the attention! “Your creative abilities are being praised by everyone.”
She then spewed out, “People think I’m insane!” Someone even wanted me to cook a turkey with their cat’s face on it. I received dozens of calls regarding this matter. His or her cat!
I resisted the urge to chuckle. It’s possible that the next time you do something, you won’t utilise my face as the centrepiece. Consequences are the result of actions.
“You’ve humiliated me in front of everyone I know!”
At long last, Mark, who had been quietly observing, made his voice heard. “You humiliated her first, Mom,” she said. It is to your great relief that she did not print up a billboard.
First, Gloria stared at him, and then she glared at me. She shouted, “You’re both impossible!” before storming out of the room completely.
In the weeks that followed, the tale of the turkey became a well-known legend in the community. Gloria became known as “the turkey lady,” and although she would never admit it, subsequent to that, her pranks grew less outrageous.
What about me? Thanksgiving served as a reminder that sometimes retribution is best served with a side of humour, and it became a treasured memory in our home, despite the fact that it became notorious.
