For 17 Years, My Husband Refused to Travel with Me—Coming Home Early from a Trip Revealed the Truth
My Husband Avoided Traveling with Me for 17 Years — I Came Back from Holiday Early to Learn Why
Lauren had always assumed her husband just didn’t like to travel, but this year’s actions left her even more perplexed. She made the decision to learn the truth after a family vacation drove years of tension to a breaking point, but she was surprised by what she discovered.
Sitting on the couch, I looked through photos of my parents, siblings, and I from our family vacation the previous year. Not one of them included my boys. They always stayed at home with Mike.
Ethan climbed up on my lap and looked at the pictures. “Is it possible for us to visit the beach this summer, Mom? Would you please?”
“Yeah!” Ben looked up from the Lego project he was working on on the floor. A genuine beach, that is. Not the lake alone. I was informed by Uncle Tim that Hawaii has black sand.
I gave Ethan’s hair a kiss and grinned. “We’ll see.”
It was always bittersweet to plan a trip. The sun, the adventure, and the memories I formed with my parents and siblings were all things I enjoyed. But leaving Mike and the boys behind has been a burden for me every time for the past 17 years.
“Why don’t we ever go, Mom?” Ben inquired in a cautious tone. “Dad says vacations are just for grown-ups.”
“That’s not true,” I uttered quietly as my chest constricted.
Ethan went on, “But he always says no when we ask,”
“He just…” I paused, trying to think of the proper words. Dad isn’t a huge travel enthusiast. However, we’ll find a solution.”
In actuality, Mike actively opposed traveling rather than simply detesting it. Whenever I mentioned a family vacation, he would dismiss it with an evasive justification.
“It’s too expensive.”
“The boys don’t have to go. In any case, they are too young to recall it.
“It’s better if they stay here with me.”
I eventually stopped inquiring. We never achieved anything by arguing about it.
My mother’s voice was joyful and unsure when she called a few weeks later.
“I’ve been thinking, Lauren. This summer, I’d like to take the whole family to the Virgin Islands. While I can, I’d like to take one last major trip. Children should also attend.
The Virgin Islands. It’s her favorite spot on earth. Up until his death, she and Dad had visited there every other year. I was aware that she was using this trip to make memories with her grandchildren while she was still able to, not just to take a vacation.
When I said, “Mom, that sounds perfect,” “I’ll talk to Mike.”
Gently, she urged, “Don’t let him stop you,” “The boys deserve this, and so do you.”
After supper that night, Mike and I were cleaning up when I mentioned it.
“Mom wants us to go to the Virgin Islands this summer,” I said.
He was drying a plate and didn’t glance up. “That’s far.”
Her favorite spot is there. For years, she has been discussing taking the boys there. This may be her final opportunity to accompany them.
He let out a sigh. “And what occurs if the lads grow weary or bored? Who is handling that?
“They’re old enough to handle a vacation, Mike,” I was clear in my statement. They’ll adore it, too. For years, they have been requesting to visit a new location.
“Then take them.”
Unsure if I had heard him correctly, I blinked. “You’re okay with me taking the boys?”
“Sure,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe, I’ll think about going myself.”
A glimmer of optimism lingered in my mind for a week. Perhaps, just possibly, Mike might decide to join us, surprising me. However, he completely stopped talking when I brought up the flights.
His voice was tense as he said, “I didn’t realize you’d have to fly,”
It’s the Virgin Islands, Mike. We must, of course, fly.
He said, “I’m not comfortable with that,” while holding onto the counter’s edge.
“It’s one flight,” I exclaimed in frustration. “You’ll be fine.”
He yelled, “I said no, Lauren,” and turned away.
I wasn’t going to let him stop us this time. I purchased tickets for the boys and myself.
They were incredulous when I informed them.
“We’re really going?” Ben’s eyes were wide as he asked.
“Really?” Ethan bounced on the couch and squealed.
“Yes,” I replied with a smile. “We’re really going.”
The lads had never been on a flight before, so they had a lot of questions. “How high are we going?” Ben enquired. “Do the pilots ever get lost?” Ethan was curious. I responded as best I could, laughing at their enthusiasm.
The boys’ laughter reverberated in the salty air as they ran down the beach as soon as we touched down in the Virgin Islands. My mother gave me a firm hug.
She added, “I’m so glad you brought them,” in an emotionally charged voice.
“I am too,” I said as I observed the boys pursuing one another along the beach.
Sandcastle construction, snorkeling, and family feasts full of laughter and stories occupied the days. However, I couldn’t get rid of the persistent feeling that something wasn’t right at night when the boys were asleep.
Mike called briefly and in a preoccupied tone.
“Everything okay at home?” One evening, I inquired.
“Yeah,” he replied. “Just busy.”
“Busy with what?”
“Work. Stuff.”
I felt sick to my stomach from his rushed responses. I felt the pressure of our increasing distance as I gazed at the moonlit ocean after we hung up.
When I made my choice, the lads were asleep. With the sound of waves smashing below, I called my mother while standing on our rental’s balcony.
As I gazed into the black sea, I murmured, “I think I need to head back early,”
Mom was quiet for a while. “Is everything okay?”
I said, “I don’t know,” in admission. “Mike has been behaving oddly. Far away. The phone calls aren’t doing anything either.
She softly remarked, “You’ve done the right thing bringing the boys,” “They’re enjoying themselves immensely. You may rely on me to watch them. Proceed to complete your tasks.
My thoughts were racing on the flight home. I relived every heated exchange, every acerbic look, and every justification he had offered for skipping trips over the years. I reflected on the growing silence between us, the kind of silence that leaves you wondering if it’s worth fighting for.
Had I overlooked something? Did he have a deeper motive for his actions? Or had we just drifted apart too much?
As the jet touched down, the knot in my chest grew tighter. I kept worrying that I was going to have to deal with something I wasn’t prepared for.
I froze as soon as I entered the front door.
Mike and a woman I didn’t know were seated on the couch. Startled, she looked up but remained silent.
“What’s going on?” My voice was sharper than I meant when I asked.
Mike got to his feet, looking pallid. “Lauren, this isn’t —”
I extended my hand. “Avoid it. Just don’t. My hands were shaking and my chest was heaving. “I leave for a week, and this is what I come home to?”
“It’s not what you think!” he remarked as he moved in my direction.
“Then what is it?” I fired back. “Because it sure looks like you’ve been having a grand old time while I was gone.”
The woman got to her feet. Softly, “I think I should go,” she said.
“No,” Mike firmly stated. “Remain. This is Dr. Keller, Lauren. She serves as my therapist.
I blinked, utterly disoriented. “Your… therapist?”
“Yes,” he said. “I know this looks bad, but please, let me explain.”
My heart continued to pound as I crossed my arms. “Start talking.”
Mike’s voice was shaky as he combed through his hair. “Dr. Keller and I have been seeing each other for a few months. I didn’t tell you because I was unsure of how to do it. I felt ashamed.
“Embarrassed about what?” Confusion replaced my rage as I asked.
He let out a sigh. “I’m afraid of flying, Lauren. Since I was a child, I have been. I had a panic episode at the airport the first time my parents took me on a plane. They simply urged me to quit being emotional and “suck it up.” I remember how that felt at the age of seven. I was worried that if you took the boys on a plane at such a young age, they would also panic.
Stunned, I gazed at him.
He went on to say, “I’ve been hiding it from you,” “I freaked out every time you mentioned a trip that required flying. But I merely argued with you rather than owning up to it. Making excuses was simpler than confronting the fear.
Dr. Keller raised his voice. “Mike has been working on getting over his phobia, so he invited me to come here today. He wants to share this with you and demonstrate his progress.”
I gave him a look. “Why now?”
He added, “Because I’m tired of missing out, Lauren,” in a voice that broke. “It bothers me that you and your family take these wonderful vacations without me. I’ve been too afraid to participate, which I detest. I also detest what it has done to us.
As I sat down, a knot formed in my throat. I whispered, “You should’ve told me,”
“I know,” he replied. “I just… didn’t want you to think I was weak.”
I gave a headshake. “You’re not weak because of this, Mike. You become human because of it.
After a few period of silence, I reached for his hand.
I said, “What happens now?”
His words, “I keep going to therapy,” “I also work on it. I might be able to join you and the lads on that jet by next summer.
My heart warmed up. When I said, “We’ll do it together,”
The following morning, we discussed our destinations while seated at the kitchen table with a map in front of us. We weren’t fighting, we were planning for the first time in years. It seemed like a fresh start.
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