My MIL Told Me I Wasn’t ‘Family Enough’ for Last Year’s Photos – This Year, I Took Action

When my mother-in-law told me that I wasn’t “family enough” to be included in the Christmas photos from the previous year, I resisted the urge to say anything. On the other hand, I had a plan for this year, and let’s just say that it involved her barging into my house a few days before Christmas.

If Ellen, my mother-in-law, ever decided to write a book, the title of the book could be something along the lines of “How to Get Rid of Your Daughter-in-Law in Ten Easy Steps.” If I were to be completely honest, it would most likely be on every bestseller list since I know a lot of people who have experienced problems with their in-laws.

For a sufficient amount of time, I have been struggling with the attitude of my mother-in-law, and I am aware that she takes pleasure in this. Ellen regarded me as if I were simply passing through, as if I were some temporary fixture in her son’s life, when Peter and I first started dating.

I was made to feel like an outsider by her for a period of five years on end.

The members of Peter’s family enjoyed taking photographs, particularly on special occasions such as birthdays, holidays, and other significant events. Regardless of the circumstances, Ellen was always successful in persuading everyone that I should not be a part of it.

I would say something, and she would respond by saying, “Well, when you two actually get married, then I’ll think about it.” This would happen every time I said something.

Considering what is it? Would you consider me to be a human being?

It was the most frustrating aspect that she could be so planned. To anyone who was not a member of the family, she appeared to be extremely courteous and almost charming. She was a master of the backhanded compliment, but behind closed doors, she was a master of it.

I am really impressed by your level of ambition, Elizabeth. I can only imagine how fatigued Peter must be trying to keep up with you! Or, alternatively, “I suppose your parents must’ve been modern to raise you that way.”

One day, when Peter and I get married, she will finally have to take me seriously, I would think to myself. I would brush it off.

Although we did get married the previous year, it was only a week before Christmas, and let me tell you, there was no difference in our relationship.

In the course of the annual Christmas Eve celebration that took place in their expansive country house, Ellen’s true nature was brought to the forefront. It was only normal for me to anticipate that I would be included in the family portrait that was taken by the fireplace on the evening after dinner.

Ellen swooped in with a tone that was quite charming, and I was standing next to Peter at the time. Oh, Elizabeth, would you mind if I asked you to go to the side? I am just giving this to my family. Wow, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!

My eyes were wide as I glanced at her. “I am family,” I reminded Peter, looking to him for comfort as I spoke.

The hand that Ellen waved was dismissive. What’s up, the two of you just tied the knot. You are not yet a family member enough.”

It was completely silence in the room. It was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. We are fortunate that the rest of the family did not allow him to get away with it. At long last, they took a stand against her childish behavior.

Even my husband’s father, Frank, expressed his opinion. Yes, Ellen, that is sufficient. At this point, Elizabeth is a member of this family.

As well as supporting me, Peter defended me by saying, “Mom, you are being crazy. I am married to her.

With a pout on her face, Ellen decided to let me take part in the photograph. However, throughout the entire process, I was able to sense her clear unhappiness. All of it had a poisoned feeling to it. Indeed, she appeared to have ingested a lemon in each and every one of the photographs.

Nevertheless, I made the decision that enough was enough this year. Since Christmas of the previous year, Ellen’s behavior had not changed in the slightest. Her condition had, if anything, deteriorated. She made sure to remind me in a subtle way that I did not belong by calling me on the phone and attending every family gathering.

I was fortunate enough to have a lot of assistance from my family when it came time to take action over the situation.

Upon the arrival of the holiday season, I discovered that the initial component of my plan had completely materialized. As a result, I decided to send out holiday cards a few weeks before Christmas, which was something I had never done before in my entire life.

A photograph of Peter, me, and the rest of his family was displayed on the front of the card, with the exception of Ellen. I did not experience any feelings of remorse, not even the slightest bit. If she doesn’t consider me to be “family enough” the previous year, then perhaps she doesn’t consider me to be family enough this year either.

In order to get her response, I didn’t have to wait very long. In point of fact, I would prepare myself for her significant response. Although it was a peaceful morning, I was able to hear the unmistakable scream of tires outside while I was sipping my coffee.

An instant later, the front door swung open, and there she was, flaunting the card in an angry manner while her face was flushed and she was upset.

“You think this is funny?!” The tone of Ellen’s voice was so pointed that it might break glass. “How dare you do this to me?!”

At the same time that I carefully laid my coffee cup down, I maintained a neutral look. “Good morning to you too, Ellen.”

The card was flung down on the table, and her tone was acrimonious. Don’t even think about saying ‘good morning’ to me! I don’t understand how you could leave me out of any family portrait. The mother of Peter is me! At what time did you take this? HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT IT?

In light of the disaster that occurred the previous year, her fury was almost hilarious. However, I maintained my composure. I addressed it in a level-headed manner, “I thought you didn’t see me as family.” “You made that pretty clear last Christmas when you said I wasn’t ‘family enough’ to be in the picture.”

It was then that she snapped, “That is completely different!” “And of course, you were successful, weren’t you? Photos were taken of you as well! To put it simply, Elizabeth, you are acting in a nasty and petty manner. Are you even remotely aware of how embarrassing this situation is for me?

“Humiliating?” An eyebrow was raised by me. Just try to put yourself in my shoes when I was told that I didn’t belong in the family photo AFTER I had gotten married the previous year. I suppose that you are now aware of how it feels.

At that very time, I had never witnessed anyone else become as enraged as my mother-in-law. Her cheeks turned a deeper shade of crimson than usual, and you could see sweat dripping from her forehead. I was on the verge of being hurt by her. Aside from…

“Ellen, that’s enough,” a male voice said as it emerged from the corridor.

When we heard the tires, Frank was the one who had snuck into one of the bedrooms and remained hiding there. He came over since we were all aware of the kind of response that the holiday card would elicit from the recipient.

As Ellen spun around, her eyes widened in surprise. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

What brought me here is the fact that I assisted Elizabeth with the holiday card. You have to put an end to what you have been doing for all these years. At this point, Elizabeth is a member of this family. Your son’s wife is this woman! During the time that they were only dating, we might have been able to overlook your behavior, but your attitude went too far the previous year.

She was so angry that her entire body was trembling with wrath. You’re rooting for her, are you? In opposition to your own wife?

“Yes,” Frank responded without any doubt. “Ellen, there is no way you are correct. As for me, I’m sick of seeing you push Elizabeth away again and again. She, Peter, and the rest of us are not going to be treated fairly by this.

“Fine,” Ellen squealed out. “If you’re so determined to betray me, then maybe we should just get a divorce!”

“Mom, stop.”

The voice of Peter instantly alleviated the strain. It was the door next to the kitchen that went to the garage, which was his hiding place. He emerged from that door. Because no one wanted to leave me alone with Ellen’s fury, this was the final component of our strategy, which was to confront her together.

According to what Peter stated, “As Dad said, you are not being fair to Elizabeth,” he remarked with a steady voice. Or to any other individual. My wife is her name. Can you tell me how many times you needed to be told? As a mature adult, I require that you show her the utmost respect. In the event that you are unable to do that, we will have to reevaluate the amount of time that we spend with you.

Ellen’s mouth began to drop. Is that what you would do? When you consider everything that I’ve done for you?

Peter whispered, “I don’t want to,” and he was right. “However, I will not permit you to treat Elizabeth in such a manner. It is not acceptable. If you are unable to acknowledge her as a member of the family, then we are going to have a problem. She is going to be the mother of my children, and I would not want them to be in the company of someone who does not respect their mother.

There was complete silence in the room. In addition to being silent, Ellen appeared to be completely powerless.

After taking a few big breaths, I raised my voice. “Ellen, one of my lifelong goals has been to become a member of this family. You, on the other hand, have repeatedly demonstrated that you do not have that perception of me regarding me. It’s not much that I’m asking for; all I want is a little honor. In the event that you are unable to provide me with that, I do not see how we can proceed.

Ellen continued to look at me with eyes that were unyielding and untrusting.

I did a sigh. “We do not want to get a holiday card that does not include the entire family. It is true that the rest of your relatives were willing to assist me, but does this not tell anything about them?

It appeared as though Ellen’s fury abated as a result of my statements; yet, it was impossible to understand her facial expression. The only thing I hoped for was a change in her behavior; I did not anticipate receiving an apology.

Very well done. In the end, she stated, “I am capable of doing that.” Shortly before storming out of the home, she gave each of us a quick glance before leaving.

An exhalation was cooperatively made by Frank, Peter, and me.

“Do you think that will work?” And Peter inquired of his father.

What Frank did was simply shrug his shoulders and smile. “I’m still not sure. Only now did her pride suffer a blow. It is up to us to decide.”

During the weeks that followed, Ellen’s behavior began to shift in a different direction. I was not expecting it to be a complete turnaround, and it was not a complete turnaround. However, she did make an effort, albeit with some reluctance. An invitation to tea was extended to me, she inquired about my thoughts on many minor family concerns, and she even managed to utter a few genuine compliments here and there.

By the time Christmas Eve arrived, Mom had already begun making efforts to incorporate me into the customs that were being observed. When it came time for the yearly family photo, she astonished everyone by requesting that we all be included in the picture together.

While we were gathered around the fireplace, Ellen stood next to me, smiling. It was not the artificial smile she usually wears; rather, it was a smile that seemed almost genuine.

There was no way that anything could ever be considered perfect. On the other hand, it was a beginning.