I Needed Office Clothes After Maternity Leave—My Husband’s Response Shocked Me
I Asked My Husband for Money for Office Clothes After Maternity Leave — He Replied, ‘Get a Job as a Cleaner, You Don’t Need Fancy Clothes There’
Sometimes a negligent husband is the lemon that life throws at you. I followed his counsel when he advised me to become a cleaner rather than purchase new job attire. However, I did it in a way he didn’t anticipate.
What’s the worst about betrayal? It always comes from a reliable source.
A year ago, I took maternity leave and gave our baby, Ethan, my whole attention.
Maintaining our home, changing diapers nonstop, feeding Tyler late at night, and making sure he always had a hot supper waiting for him after work… I completed everything.
And truthfully? It didn’t bother me. In ways that my office job never was, being a mother was both difficult and fulfilling.
The initial giggles and the little smiles simply brought me an inexplicable amount of delight.
However, it was time for me to return to work after a year. In fact, I was thrilled. I missed having adult chats about things other than baby food. Being more than just a mother was something I missed.
However, there was an issue.
As I was folding laundry one evening, I remarked, “Tyler, none of my work clothes fit anymore,” Tyler was sitting on the couch and Ethan was finally asleep.
He inquired, “What do you mean?”
With a sigh, I held out a pencil skirt that was once my go-to piece for the office. “I mean, after having your child, my body altered. After trying everything in my closet, nothing still fits.
“All right? Simply put on something different.
What I’m saying is that. There’s nothing else I have. I need to purchase some new office attire. I took a seat on the couch next to him. “I was hoping we could use some of our savings for that.”
At that moment, he gave me the look that gave me the impression that I was asking for something extraordinary.
“Do you have any idea how much daycare is going to cost?” inquired the man. “And all the costs of the baby? Even now, your job hardly pays for those expenses.
“Tyler, it’s only a few clothes. It would be impossible for me to return to work without clothing.
He mentioned that at that point.
“We pay a high price for your work. Simply take a cleaning job. For that, you don’t need expensive clothing.
I was shocked by what he said.
Was that what he had just said? I had been preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner for this man. The person whose clothes I had been doing? Whose infant had I been caring for around-the-clock while he carried on with his work without any disruption?
“A cleaner?” I said it again.
Tyler gave a shrug. It’s useful. Better childcare hours as well.
For our family, I had given up my body, my sleep, and the momentum I had built up in my profession. And now he couldn’t even be bothered to help me when I needed something simple to keep going.
I said, “You’re right, babe,” with a smile, rather than shouting at him. I’ll come up with something.”
And I did.
But not in the manner he had anticipated.
I wasn’t going to plead for some new clothing or even basic respect.
Rather, I took his advice and found work as a cleaner.
Not just anywhere, though.
At his office, I submitted an application.
Tyler is employed downtown at a prominent corporate legal company. I felt as though the world was giving me just what I needed when I saw that they were looking for part-time cleaning help through an internet job posting.
I was employed for the evening shift within a week, which was ideal for our childcare arrangement. After I explained what I was doing, my mother was more than willing to watch Ethan for a couple of hours in the evening. Tyler never really appealed to her.
The finest aspect? Tyler was clueless.
I had vaguely stated that I was taking night classes to “improve my skills,” so he believed that was the reason. Another indication of his lack of genuine interest in my goals was the fact that he never asked for specifics.
I did the cleaning shift for three weeks, being careful not to go near Tyler’s office floor. I had to choose the appropriate time.
When I found out through office rumors that Tyler would be hosting a significant customer meeting on Wednesday night, the ideal moment arrived.
I was on his floor that evening due to the cleaning schedule, and I didn’t ask to be moved.
In my gray uniform, with my hair tied back in a simple ponytail and minimum makeup, I entered his office on Wednesday.
I purposefully pushed my cleaning cart, and before I even got to his door, the squeaking wheel announced my arrival.
I went in to empty the trash cans while Tyler was in the middle of presenting something to a group of five people sat around his conference table. At first, I kept my head down and worked steadily, but as soon as his eyes met mine, I could feel it.
His presentation’s assured flow faltered in the middle of a phrase.
“And the quarterly projections show—” His voice broke. “The forecasts indicate that… Please pardon me for a moment.
Feeling his gaze pierce my back, I moved to the garbage next to his desk and carried on working.
“Marilyn?” he asked at last. “What are you doing here?”
I turned and gave a courteous grin. “Hello, sir. I apologize for disturbing your meeting.
I feared he may faint at the speed at which the blood drained from his face. The clients and his coworkers, meantime, glanced between us bewildered.
Then one of his colleagues, who had previously seen me at workplace functions, raised his voice. “Wait, is your wife here? Why is she in this place?
Tyler stumbled. “I’m not sure,” “What are you doing, Marilyn?”
Despite the outfit, I remained composed and stood up. “Oh, I just followed my husband’s fantastic advise! He said that being a cleaner would be more sensible because my previous work was too expensive with daycare and business attire. No need to bother about a clothing code. It’s been really instructive, to be honest.”
There was silence in the room.
Everyone looked at Tyler, whose face had suddenly transformed from white to red with shame.
Mr. Calloway, his supervisor, arched an eyebrow. “Your husband told you to be a cleaner instead of continuing your career?”
I smiled naively and shrugged. “Well, he said that because I needed new clothes after having our son, my former employment was too costly. He believed that I would fit in better with this.
Mr. Calloway stared at Tyler, his face hardening.
The room’s vibe had entirely shifted.
“Marilyn, can we discuss this at home?” Tyler muttered. “Now isn’t the time.”
“Of course,” I said with a smile. “I would prefer not to disrupt your crucial meeting. I’ll simply wrap things up here and head off. Have a great evening, you gentlemen.
“Let’s take a fifteen-minute break, shall we?” Mr. Calloway said as I pushed my cart toward the entrance.
I could tell Tyler was going to have a difficult chat because of that.
I wasn’t finished yet, though. This was only the start.
I made sure to work very hard at my job during the next few weeks. Tyler’s coworkers would still be there finishing off their workday, so I always cleaned his office last.
I made it a point to publicly thank Tyler for his “amazing career advice” whenever we met, and I smiled pleasantly whenever someone inquired about my presence there.
Tyler tried to discuss it with me at home one day.
Insisting that “this has gone on long enough,” “Your argument has been made. This is embarrassing.
“Embarrassing for whom?” Calmly, I asked. “I’m doing as you suggested. I figured my practicality would make you proud.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” he replied. “It was only a remark. Money was causing me stress.
“Funny how your ‘just comments’ always seem to minimize me and my needs,” I said with a laugh. “And funnier still how my stress about returning to work professionally wasn’t worth considering, but your stress about money justified belittling my career.”
Tyler was unaware at the time that I was conversing with people while cleaning workplaces. genuine discussions. With folks who thought of me as more than “the mom” or “the cleaner.”
In particular, I was reading a legal brief that I had noticed on a desk one evening when Carol from HR approached me to talk.
She was horrified to hear about my experience in corporate communications and the events that brought me to cleaning.
“We actually have an opening in the marketing department,” she stated to me. “The hours would accommodate your daycare needs, and the compensation is competitive. Are you interested?
I was genuinely intrigued. I was prepared.
When spouses were invited to the following work event, the last piece of my strategy came together. Despite Tyler’s pleas that we should “leave work at work,” I persisted in going.
Wearing a gorgeous new navy dress that I had bought with my first advance from my new marketing job, which would begin the following Monday, I arrived fashionably late. The pay for that job was far higher than Tyler’s.
Every moment of pushing that cleaning cart was worth it for the expression on his face when I entered. When Carol from HR came over with a glass of champagne, he just looked at me with wide eyes.
Carol spoke to the little group of people around us, “Everyone, let me introduce our newest team member.” “Marilyn, our new Communications Director, will start working in our marketing department on Monday. It’s possible that some of you have already met her in another capacity.
It was evident from the raised eyebrows and smirks throughout the circle that everyone knew exactly what “different capacity” meant. Tyler seems to want to be completely engulfed by the earth.
Tyler cornered me behind the drinks table later that night.
“You planned this whole thing, didn’t you?” screamed the man.
Calmly, I took a sip of my champagne. “No, Tyler. When you decided I wasn’t worth a few new clothes to start my career over, you arranged it. I simply adjusted to the situation you put me in.”
“It was a joke,” he told me in a panicked tone. “I was under stress. I didn’t intend for you to work as a cleaner.
“And I didn’t mean to discover that my husband values me so little,” I responded. “Yet here we are, both surprised by outcomes we didn’t expect.”
The next few months saw a significant shift in our relationship.
As the tale of Tyler’s “career advice” to his wife became part of the firm’s legend, Tyler’s situation there grew more and more awkward. As my abilities were acknowledged, my role grew in the meantime. There was a noticeable change in the balance of power in our marriage.
Tyler made several attempts to apologize.
It didn’t work out, even though he bought me jewelry, clothes, and even a new automobile.
You see, something fundamental snapped between us the instant he made me feel unworthy of even the most basic respect.
Six months later, I have clothes in my closet that reflect the woman I’ve grown into.
Tyler, meanwhile, lost his job. He has apologized more times than I can remember, but it won’t make up for the time he made me feel unimportant and discounted my value so readily.
The decision is now up to me. Should I forgive him and try to save our marriage? Or is it time to permanently leave?
How would you respond?
READ MORE STORIES
