My Son Wouldn’t Stop Waving at the Empty Backyard – I Checked the Footage and Froze

I was so nervous that night and my hands started to tremble when I viewed the footage. At the window like always was Max, waving at me. Until I got just a few feet from the old treehouse, I saw something moving in the dark. A figure that caused me to feel a sudden shock.
Life ran smoothly and flawlessly one time.

We had made something beautiful together, Richard and I. Both kids made us very happy and we enjoyed a home filled with laughter.

Ellie was 12 and kept asking nonstop questions about everything. Max was eight years old when we were there. Ellie’s small friend was always swayed by her words and hung close at her side.

We were the kind of family that people wanted. Soccer on weekends, watching movies with my family and trips to the beach that ended with the kids building castles for as long as the sun shone. Sometimes, it felt like we were in a sitcom and Richard mentioned this often.

Soon everything was different.
In the beginning, Ellie said that she was tired all the time.

Once she got home from school, she would sit down on the couch, complaining her legs hurt. First, we thought it might be growing pains. All things considered, she was at that age.

Every time she didn’t feel good, she’d come and tell me, “Mom, I don’t feel well.”
I’d say, “You are just growing up, honey.” The body is putting in a lot of effort.

Reacting to the disease, I became more and more tired. It was then that bruises appeared all over without warning. Unexplained purple marks on her arms and legs.

Whenever she saw the strange spots on her skin, she always said, “I don’t think I ever got into a fight.”
Richard and I looked concerned at each other throughout the meal, but we tried to think it was nothing to worry about.

Children sometimes get minor bumps and bruises. Children can easily feel tired. Probably, we were just overly concerned because we are parents.

Going to the doctor completely changed my situation.
First, I want us to perform some tests, Dr. Martinez replied, being very careful and clear. We want to make sure a few things are not the case.

Rule out. Saying those simple sentences can make a world of difference when you’re sitting in an office with your little one beside you.

Lab results for the blood work were ready before everything else. After that are more tests. Bone marrow biopsy. CT scans. Every time we went to the doctor, it started to feel like we were stuck inside a bad dream.

Oncologist told me, “Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.”

Those three words tore our perfect world into thousands of fragments.
Is everything going to turn out all right for me? She spoke in a very soft and quiet voice, saying,

Yes,” I said and took her hand at once. “Yes, baby. We will fight this side by side.

We confronted conflict when it happened. Oh, what battles we had on the battlefield.

Spending days in the hospital became familiar to us. Patients had to miss soccer practices for their chemo appointments. I was busy with taking notes on my medication and keeping up with my visits to the pediatrician.

After her hair stopped growing, Ellie’s beautiful crown became her bald head.
In the shining hospital room mirror, she’d pose and say, “I look just like a superhero.”

Richard really shone during that period. Sam slept on uncomfortable hospital furniture, taught himself to use needles and made sure Ellie still smiled when she was going through tough times.

Each day after school, he’d visit with Max in the hospital and they would watch movies together on the tablet.

During those sleepless nights he would say, “We’re still a family.” We are going to get through the rough times.

I was sure that he was telling the truth. It was necessary for me to do so.
For the next eight months, everything focused on treatments, hope and little successes. Over time, her numbers would go up then down again.

There were days when she almost forgot how painful it was and other days when even moving her head was too much for her.

Even so, she kept going. Not once.

She would say to anyone: “I’m going to get through this cancer.” It picked someone who couldn’t be messed with.

Her story was something everyone believed. She never gave up and pushed so hard. How could cancer succeed when someone has such great fighting spirit?

Overall, its arguments succeded.
With the bright sun shining through on a March Tuesday, Ellie lost her long fight with cancer. Though she battled to stay alive, Cancer took her away in the end.

Grief opened a hole in our family that may not ever be completely mended.

Each evening, Richard moved straight from meals to the office and stayed late all the time. Max grew silent and isolated, mostly staying inside his room for many hours at a time.

I did everything I could to make it through every single day without breaking down.
Ellie and Richard were closer than any of the other siblings.

She was like his baby and I sometimes wished I had the same kind of bond with him. When he lost her, it broke him in many ways I do not yet understand.

Max also found it hard, but in his own eight-year-old manner. He was left alone and without his big sister, his protector and his best friend in one terrible instant.
I really missed hearing her talk all the time. It was very sad.

It was as if we were sinking under our grief as we tried to figure how to cope without understanding what had happened to us.

It was only when I was beginning to live normally again that I noticed the strange thing I’d missed.

Whenever the evening began to get dark, Max went to the back door, peered into the yard and waved. Smiling a little but quietly with a gentle tone.

I didn’t look too closely at it when it first happened. Kids, as we know, have some regular habits. It’s possible he was pretending that he saw someone.

Maybe that’s how he was managing to accept the way things had gone between us. There were so many different ways we used to handle the hurt.
However, after not too long I began to wonder what it was.

One evening, I softly called to my husband as I came up behind him where he was standing at the door. Who do you intend to say hello to with your wave?

There was no hesitation in what he did. Showed no embarrassment or hesitation when he walked by.

He said, “Ellie.”

I felt my heart sink down to my belly.

I’m sorry to tell you, honey, Ellie is not here with us any longer. You are aware of this, aren’t you?

He looked in my direction for the first time. She is, in fact.
There was no doubt in his tone and this made me feel uneasy. These were not just ideas or pretend games. He felt everything he talked about was real.

Would you explain that, honey?

He claimed to see her at the old treehouse up in the trees. She returns his gesture by waving as well.

The whole event made me feel very uneasy.

Later that night, after Max had gone to bed, I stayed in the dark living room looking into our backyard. The sudden activation of the motion-sensor lights threw lights and shadows all across the yard.

There were no obvious problems. Empty. That’s just how its supposed to be.
All the same, I couldn’t stop noticing that something didn’t feel right.

At that point, I realized we had our security camera system installed.
He decided to get it last year after the neighbors had experienced a break-in. There were cameras set up around the frontyard, the driveway and outside areas. If Max was, the video might explain what happened.

I took my phone out and found the app, but my hands were shaking. Found the day before yesterday’s date. Usually around 6:30 p.m., Max would start up his regular waving session.

I simply could not believe what I saw.
Without any doubt, it was Max standing at the window there. Waving, in the exact way he used to wave.

But only a short distance from the old treehouse my husband had made, a dark movement caught my eye.

A girl. A flicker. A pit in my stomach was caused by this particular silhouette.
A twin to Ellie stared right at me, taking my breath like lightning. Same height. Same build. With one hip slightly moved to the side in a similar way. She had on something that nearly took my breath away.

Her most loved sweater. She had lived in a little purple tent with a sparkling star on the front, but before she got sick.
I was shocked and still as the figure waved back at Max with her hand.

Was I creating things from nothing? Was it because I was so sad that I somehow saw what I hoped was there?

I played the video backwards in order to watch it a second time. And again.
Every time the ranks get screwed up. Max waving. The person dealing with the customer.

I probably spent two hours continuously watching that little clip until my eyes got sore.

There was something going on right in our neighborhood. Something that didn’t make sense to me. All of this happened and my little boy was caught in the middle of it.

When he went to the window as usual the next evening, I was watching to see what happened. Instead of standing far away to watch, I sat beside him on the floor this time.

I softly said to Max, “Are you waving at Ellie?”

He moved his head up and down, watching the yard, without looking away. I see her every night these days.

Is it possible for you to… to show me how you are doing it?

Come along with me, he asked.

My therapist took me out to the balcony through the glass door. We went across the grass and stood underneath the treehouse.

Max gazed charmed at the wooden structure his dad had built.

“This was where magic happened,” he said softly to himself.

My throat became tense. They gathered there so many times to play games, have fun and share their secrets.

He went on to explain that, “Before she got ill, Ellie promised she would never leave.” I decided that if I waved each evening, she would realize I am thinking about her. The letter said that she would do her best to wave.

Now my tears were running freely. “Oh, sweetheart.”

Mom, she made me a promise. According to her, death does not mean someone is never coming back. In other words, it is expressed differently.

This sounded just like Ellie talking. Even then, people were amazed by her unusual wisdom and worldview, even though she was 12 years old.

As I went up the treehouse ladder, I could hear something rustling behind me. A dark figure came out and for just a moment, I thought it might be her. I almost fell over and so I grabbed Max’s shoulder for support.

It ended up not being Ellie after all.
She was about her age, had long brown hair and her eyes were very nervous. Her face looked recognizable, but because I was so startled, I couldn’t think who she was.

She said in a low voice, “Hi,” and moved toward us. I do not mean to frighten you.
It was at that point that I figured it out. “Ava?”

She looked shy and concerned at the same time while she nodded her head. Ellie’s close friend at school. Yes, it sounds strange, but I am able to explain myself.”

I realized you are in the video I watched. That little dog has been waving at you until now.

“Yeah.” She kept twisting her hands as she waited. There were times when Ellie would ask me to come here with her. Prior to what happened to her. She explained that, by doing

so, Max would feel better, because he would still be looked after by someone. So I simply come and sit for some time after we finish dinner. She believes I am out playing at the park.

She grabbed at the purple sweater she was sporting. She handed me this as she was leaving for the hospital that last time. Promised it would jog my memory whenever I missed her too much.
That moment the dam shattered totally.

I went out into the grass and began to cry where I was. All the pain I had been keeping inside started to flow out.

Max put his arms around me and remained very close.

Mom, it’s all fine, he said softly. Ellie is not gone in the same way as others. She seems different than before now.”

As Ava came to sit beside us, tears were streaming from her eyes. She requested that I watch over Max if ever anything bad happened to her. She was afraid he’d feel very sad.
Since that day, we do it each night as a habit.

Every night after dinner, Richard, Max and I go to the treehouse as a group. Ava sometimes decides to accompany us. We gaze up at the sky, rest in the grass and speak of the changes Ellie made in our lives.

It seems, ever so slowly, we are getting better. One wave at a time and nothing more.

Grief is still present for me. I do not believe it will ever happen. It’s not like drowning for me now, it is just like protecting something that is precious. Seeing these things remind us how much love was around and how glad we were for the time we had with her.