My Mom Told Me Not to Wear My Wedding Dress Because “It Would Outshine My Sister’s” — At My Own Wedding

When my mom stopped me from wearing the perfect dress for my wedding because she thought it was better than her sister’s, I realized my spot in her heart. Second. Always second.
Richard was the love of my life and we got married last month. Sharing this new part of our life in our downtown apartment, together and working out who washes the dishes has been amazing.

It was a wonderful ceremony and we had our family and dearest friends cheering us on all the way.
Initially, the days before my wedding seemed stressful. They didn’t live up to the magical and dreamy expectation I had in mind.

Dreams about my wedding day started even when I was very young. I would imagine myself in a graceful dress walking down the aisle as the most beautiful person there. I wasn’t only thinking of myself; I just felt that every bride deserves to feel beautiful on their wedding day.
I decided that when buying my dress, I’d bring my mother, Martha and my little sister, Jane, with me to the bridal salon. My excitement was so intense that I almost didn’t sleep the night right before.

Take a look at this one too. I was turning in the third dress as I wondered who should be impressed by it. It proved to be an unbeatable experience. It had regular ivory fabric, an off-shoulder look and small nets of lace that reflected the sun whenever I walked. The train looked impressive and it seemed to glide as though from an enchanting tale.

She put her hands together in front of her. Oh my darling, you should get that one. You are looking very nice today.

I looked into a mirror and tears began to come. This was the ending of all things. My dress looked like this.

How do you see this situation? I looked at Jane and Mom as I asked.

She sprang up from her chair. “Lizzie! You are looking simply lovely! Richard will faint for sure when he lays eyes on you.

But Mom? She was sitting and her body was turned against the stand, with crossed arms and a barely visible frown.

Don’t you agree it’s a bit much? “She said” and her expression became more serious.

It suddenly came to me that I couldn’t smile anymore. Would you describe that again in your own words?

Maybe the problem is that the task is too complicated. She casually pointed towards the area with dresses. Be careful that you don’t get more attention than your sister every time.
Did I catch the information correctly?

“Excuse me? Do better than my sister did? At the moment we get married?”

I was certain she was just joking. I realized from her expression that she wasn’t doing very well.

I, as the bride, am having fun getting ready with the girls. Everyone is supposed to focus all their attention on me.

Closer, she got to me and whispered as though she was revealing a secret. You know sweetheart that your sister is still single. What might happen if someone realizes she’s there at the wedding? You need to offer your help to her. Make sure to care about the people around you.

I was utterly stunned. The happiness I had was gone and now I felt a familiar sadness. And Jane? She looked very embarrassed.
Mom, I asked you nicely, stop it, whispered Jane. Today is all about Lizzie.

Still, Mom let out the same tiny sigh she usually does when she thinks we’re being hard to handle.

I chose to buy the dress after all. I thought that, with time, this strange incident would just pass. That my mother would see that I made sense and what she was doing was ridiculous.

I was completely wrong. She did not do it.

What I discovered was only the start of what I was able to learn.

After the incident at the bridal salon, I could barely move and I ended up laying on our couch in shock. Richard noticed right away that I was upset by the look on my face.
Babe, what is happening? he leaned over and asked, then came to sit by me and hold my hand.

My mother feels that the wedding dress I picked is too attention-grabbing. I found myself struggling to say “Hey, my voice caught. She told me during a services appointment to make sure I didn’t outshine Jane at our wedding.

When we were getting married? Does she truly mean what she says?

“I’m absolutely serious,” was all I could say. She behaves this way from time to time. My sister and I have heard throughout our lives, ‘Give up your space for Jane’ or ‘let your sister choose this one.’ I can’t stand all the stress anymore.”

“You should wear the outfit that you like best, Lizzie,” he answered with a grin. We are celebrating today. Eventually, your mom will no longer feel hurt by it.
You haven’t seen what she really looks like, Rich. It truly was her intention.

Then that problem is hers, not yours. He had a calm speaking voice. Let me marry you when you are dressed in an outfit that makes you beautiful to yourself.

I tried to look convinced as he was talking to me. “You’re right. This is our special day of marriage.

The morning of the wedding was crystal clear and the air was still and soft. While I was in the bridal suite, Mom entered before the ceremony.

After seeing my dress by the mirror, she came to a sudden halt.
Is that the outfit you plan to rock? It was easy to tell that she was disappointed.
I slowly took a big breath. “Yes, Mom. I am.”

“You’ll overshadow your sister so much that she might as well disappear,” said Maura, without even trying to whisper. Couldn’t you choose that dress you liked at Macy’s? Is it the creamy or fluffy drink?

“Mom, please. Not today.”

She held her lips tightly closed but still made no reply as she made minor changes to the flowers. She then walked away and didn’t look back.

An hour passed and while I was finishing up with my makeup, the door opened. When Jane came in, everything in my world stopped.

The bride wore a white floor-length dress. The color should not be cream or ivory, but rather bright and bridal white. With a beaded front and a waist that fits the body well. This idea is no way close to the classic maid-of-honor dress.

Eye contact was made in the reflection. I was unable to say anything.

Mom walked behind Mia with a smile on her face. How pretty is she?
This was hard to accept. The room made me feel dizzy as if it was rotating.

Tara grabbed my arm to make me stop. “Lizzie? You okay?”

I felt like hitting out or crying my heart out.

I didn’t act in that way. This was the date of my wedding. I had the opportunity to decide what to do.

I had the choice to let this trouble me too much or overcome it.

Therefore, I made the choice to smile and get through my conversation. We should do it.
I saw Richard’s excitement as I walked to him in the aisle and I knew then what I wanted to do. Nothing should take this away from us.

It was a wonderful ceremony in spite of everything that happened. Richard stared at me and told me how beautiful I looked which made me overlook the matching dress in the background of every photo.

That was followed by the reception.

The ballroom was very impressive. The place was shining with lights, colorful arrangements and some bubbly. For a short time, I just soaked up all the experience.

This was the day we spent together. Our moment.

Yet, as I looked up I noticed my sister walking over to the DJ and giving her maid-of-honor speech. A feeling of nervousness hit me right in my stomach.

What now? I thought.

Jane touched the microphone in a nervous way. It was clear that she was very frightened by the way she held her hands.
Would everyone please pay attention? Her words came out in a shaky voice.

Conversation came to a stop. Richard held my hand beneath the pouring rain.

Just one thing before starting, Jane said to herself and took a deep breath.

Her tearful gaze was fixed on me and she started asking questions.

I feel so bad about the way you suffered, Lizzie.

The entire room became absolutely quiet.

I have always been the one that Mom puts first in your way. It also blossomed in classrooms, on birthdays and today in particular. Her emotions made her voice break. She advised me to put on this dress because she thought it would make someone notice me instead of you. She let me know that it was my opportunity.

It was at that point that I noticed my mother. She became pale and white with fear.

However, you don’t have to change the way I feel about myself, Jane said. You and your fiancé should make your wedding special. And I’m so happy with the person and the bride you’ve become today.

She cleared her eyes of a small tear. I have brought yet another dress. I’ll go and come back soon.

She went out like a whisper, making everyone still as a statue.

Five minutes afterwards, she came back wearing a navy-blue dress. Elegant. Simple. Beautiful.

A huge cheer came from the audience.

Tears kept streaming down my cheeks without my control. I rushed to where she was and embraced her tight. People clapped for the second time.

She whispered sorry in my ear as she kissed me. Looking back, I wish I had resisted her behavior many years before.

Both of us should have done it, I quietly answered.

Mom could not move at the table; her face was as white as the tablecloths. After all the speeches and the beginning of the first dance, she came to us looking nervous.

I was unaware of the fact that… she stammered. I thought my actions were for the sake of helping.
We ended up perfectly agreeing and said the same, “You weren’t.”

We came up to the garden terrace. There was a chill in the air and the stars above looked bright.

Throughout the years, I believed I was making the right decisions. Jane required more assistance and extra care. I didn’t understand the way it was affecting you, Lizzie.

I said, “You didn’t see me at all.” “Not really.”

She cried. We cried. I felt like something had finally pierced the barrier and she heard us.
She took both our hands and said, “I apologize”. I will put more effort into it the next time. I promise.”

In the end, we’ll need to observe her actions to find out if she was genuine. However, it helped me move forward.

While Richard and I danced our last dance that evening, I saw an unusual thing over his shoulder. David approached Jane at the bar that evening which was unusual for him.

“That speech? Someone overhead him say, “That was really brave.” Ready for a drink?
A serious smile appeared on Jane’s face as she looked his way.

It’s possible that someone paid attention to her only after she stopped seeking approval by highlighting her achievements.

For ourselves? We begin our life as a couple with a new perspective. It can be that the most significant family are the ones you welcome into your life on your own. There are moments when having confidence in yourself is exactly what matters.