My BIL Insisted to Pay For Everyone at the Restaurant – He Went Pale When He Looked At the Bill

He brazenly stated his plan to foot the full tab as the waiter handed the large bill after a lavish family dinner. The man’s brother-in-law was the one who made the extravagant declaration. The BIL’s seemingly generous offer to cover the bill took an unexpected turn when he examined the total, and his face became pale as a result of the shocking amount. This was a sudden and unexpected change of events.

It was on January 14, 2024 when a male poster who wished to remain anonymous posted his account in the “AITA” subreddit section. He described a life filled with extensive travel for work-related reasons, which resulted in occasional family reunions—typically with only a couple of occasions occurring each year. The Original Poster (OP) stated a passion for treating his family to dinners at luxury restaurants during his travels. These restaurants did not necessarily have Michelin stars, but they nevertheless had a considerable price tag.

A total of eleven people, including OP, his parents, his sister, her husband, their two children, his brother, his girlfriend, and their two children, were regularly present at the parties. Their children were also there. OP took pleasure in this event, despite the fact that the bill was between $600 and $1,000. He cherished the opportunity to engage with his nieces and nephews in a setting that diverted their attention away from screens. They really enjoyed dining at upscale places when they were out.
The fact that the entire incident appeared to irritate OP’s brother-in-law was a discovery that came to light not too long ago. OP was unable to determine the reason for this. In spite of the fact that the BIL was under the impression that the OP’s intention behind these family dinners was to show off his money, the OP adamantly refuted this idea.

OP stated that he was not angry but rather slightly upset about the behaviour of the brother-in-law. He expressed his feelings by explaining that he was upset.
When reflecting on his own acts, OP drew comparisons to an uncle who was instrumental in launching his career. This uncle was a source of inspiration for him. During the time that OP was growing up, this uncle would take the family to dinners that were very similar to other dinners, but of a more costly nature.
The uncle recalled a more extravagant act that occurred thirty years ago, when he took a group of approximately twenty-six individuals to Disney World and said that it was a gift for both Christmas and birthday from everyone in the group. In spite of this, OP recalled, with a hint of irony, that he had nevertheless received a card with fifty dollars in it twice during that year.

Which Events Occurred During the Dinner?
After having a good year in 2023, OP made the decision to celebrate the holidays by giving everyone to a sumptuous supper at a steakhouse that was located in a very costly neighbourhood. Nevertheless, when the bill arrived, the BIL took advantage of the situation and brazenly asserted that he would be responsible for covering the costs this time. Although first refusing the offer, OP eventually gave in in order to avoid a confrontation.

“When [my brother-in-law] looked at the bill he went a little white though,” explained the OP. It was discovered that the supper for fourteen, which included additional guests brought by cousins and nephews, had over $2,000, resulting in a final tally of $2,500 after the tip was taken into consideration from the total. After everything was said and done, the BIL was the one who paid the bill, which left an unspoken discomfort in the air.
After that, OP and his sister got together for coffee the following day, and while she refrained from bringing up the topic, he made the initiative to bring it up. OP stated that he was not angry but rather slightly upset about the behaviour of the brother-in-law. He expressed his feelings by explaining that he was upset.

As a reaction, his sister disclosed that her anger was not focused at OP but rather was fuelled by the financial burden caused by an expense that had not been budgeted for. After being taken aback by her viewpoint, OP inquired as to whether or not she believed that it was a waste for him to cure everyone. Her apologies came quickly, and she made it clear that the source of her displeasure was the effect that the brother-in-law had on their financial situation.

He showed compassion by handing her $2,500, and he saw a mixture of relief and thankfulness in his sister’s eyes as he showed her his appreciation. “I told [my sister] that I took everyone out because I am missing seeing them grow up,” explained the OP. “I long to do all of the things that they get to do with their family. “I am passing through town for a week, and all I want is to make some wonderful memories.”
In the later part of that day, OP received a phone call from his brother-in-law, who, displaying a clear sign of exasperation, referred to him as a “AH” for enabling him to pay the bill and then discussing it with the sister. In response, OP gave him the assurance that he would not hurt him and that “they could just keep it on the down low.” He also stated that he did not want to damage him further.

As OP reflected on the circumstance, he pondered whether he ought to have been more adamant about making a payment. He was struggling with the worry that his brother-in-law now believed that he had accidentally put the family’s grocery budget for the next couple of months in jeopardy over a single lavish supper.

To what extent do Redditors agree?
The statement made by OP received an amazing amount of support on the internet, with the vast majority of commenters labelling him as “NTA.” One of the commenters mentioned that although though the OP wasn’t the antagonist, they could understand the brother-in-law’s desire to help monetarily due to pride. It was suggested that a hassle-free strategy, which would involve presenting the card in advance, be utilised in order to eliminate any awkward back-and-forth relationships or difficult feelings.
According to the opinion of a second user, the behaviour of the brother-in-law suggested that he was jealous of the OP’s consistent financial situation. During the infrequent visits, they emphasised that the objective of OP was not to show off his money but rather to build memories that would be treasured by his family.

A third commenter voiced their disapproval of the brother-in-law, classifying his conduct as inappropriate and expressing their criticism of him. The fact that he grabbed the check despite the fact that he was unable to afford it was thought insensitive by them, and OP was later criticised for supporting his wife financially. The commenter said that the brother-in-law’s hurt pride should not discourage them from continuing their helpful acts, and they urged the other person to continue doing so.

A fourth individual stated that the response of the brother-in-law was indicative of unwarranted pride and that the individual in question should not feel forced to tiptoe around others who behave in such a manner. They proposed a plain strategy for the future, which included publicising the intention to pay for everyone and making attendance voluntary.
Concern was voiced by a fifth commenter on the desire of the brother-in-law to spend money that they were unable to afford on an alpha display. They gave OP the assurance that they were not in the wrong and praised the deeds that they had committed.

A sixth user expressed their admiration for the original poster, describing them as a darling and mentioning that the story of the uncle who was supportive made them feel warm and fuzzy inside. Another commentator came to the conclusion that the brother-in-law’s expectations were unreasonable. They brought attention to the absurdity of expecting OP to interpret his want to make a show of paying the bill as a sign of his willingness to do so.

What are your thoughts on the narrative that was told? What kind of action would you take if you were in the position of the OP?

The entire evening was marred by the blood-boiling incidents that occurred at restaurants, which can be read about by clicking here.