Am I Wrong for Prioritizing My Mom’s Feelings over My Wife’s?

A man is in a difficult situation since he is torn between his mother and his wife. Since the mother-in-law made the comment when the couple was still dating, the two women have not been able to get along with one another.
A man disclosed on Reddit that he is married to a woman who is thirty years old and lost his father, who was fifty years old, in a tragic accident in the year 2023. His mother and his wife have been at war with one other for the past three years, and he is now divided between the two of them.

“During the time that we were dating, my mother made the remark that she did not believe that we were ‘right for each other.'” The Original Poster (OP) went on to reveal additional information. There has been a sense of gravity surrounding them ever since that time.

OP revealed that his mother has apologized to his now-wife and has never failed to demonstrate her affection for her, despite the fact that they have a history of hatred. However, his spouse has not completely accepted the apology since she is under the impression that the mother-in-law only apologized after they had already tied the knot and had “no choice but to accept [her].”

The couple eventually relocated to a new home due to a change in employment circumstances following the passing of OP’s father. At the present time, they are only twenty minutes away from his mother. OP’s siblings have recently started making preparations for the family to gather together for dinner in the city, which is around one and a half hours away.

In spite of this, OP’s mother requested that she accompany him and his wife on their journey because the weather conditions were terrible. She would go to their apartment to meet them, and then she would drive away from there.
It was revealed by OP that his spouse had informed his mother “no” and that she is of an age where she ought to be able to drive herself to the gathering. As stated by OP’s wife, providing transportation for the mother-in-law affords her the opportunity to experience “helplessness.”

When OP’s father was still living, he would do anything for his mother, including transporting her to the city, especially when the weather was severe. OP explained that this was especially true during weather conditions.

The couple got into an argument after his wife’s refusal to give his parents a ride. “I told her we are giving my widowed mother a ride to see her kids and grandkids,” explained the OP.

When he saw that he had stood up for his mother, it produced tension between him and his wife as well, and he felt bad about it. As a result of his decision to prioritize his mother’s sentiments over those of his wife, OP is currently caught in a position where he must choose between the two ladies.
Several other users on Reddit have offered their thoughts on his predicament. Despite the fact that some people are on his wife’s side, others have stated that they can empathize with his mother and that they understand where she is coming from about the adverse weather circumstances.

One person stated that they would instead refrain from passing judgment and first inquire further about the connection between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. Furthermore, one person made the decision to be rational about the circumstance, stating that it would be a waste to use two automobiles while traveling to the same location.
Someone else weighed in on both sides, stating that it was “unreasonable” for OP’s wife to refuse to drive with her mother-in-law, while also adding that if the mother frequently asks her son for assistance, then the feelings of the spouse are genuine.

OP’s spouse was referred to as “petty” by one person on the internet for the way in which she handled this situation, while another user speculated that he might be leaving out other information from his article because it appears that a lot occurred even when his father was still living.
Someone questioned why the individual in question and his loved ones would agree to drive for such a long distance in order to attend to dinner when they were aware that the treacherous weather conditions could make the journey hazardous.

I heard from another individual that OP’s wife was acting like a child about this. Additionally, the Reddit user stated that his mother had wrecked things between the three of them, and it appears that she has not done much to bring things back to normal. The user does not feel that an apology and the words “I love you” are sufficient communication.
There was another person who inquired about the mother-in-law’s statement that the couple was not a good match for each other. A user on Reddit inquired as to whether or not the statement made by OP’s mother was genuine or whether it was news from a third party. In addition, what was your reaction when your mother made such statement? What was it that you said to your mother? The question was posed by the user, “What did you say to your now-wife?”

Are you of the opinion that OP made the right decision when she stood up for her mother while also going against his wife? In your opinion, do you believe that the spouse has the right to feel the way that she does about her mother-sister? What actions would you have taken if you had been in the same situation as OP?