I Refused to Give My Ex-wife Money for Food for Her and Our Kids as I Discovered Her True Intentions

The offer of sustenance that a divorced parent made took an unexpected turn in the midst of his ex-wife’s pleading for assistance over the matter. He had no idea that a straightforward gesture of generosity would become mired in allegations, showing a conflict of intents that left him struggling with perceptions and principles. He had no idea that this would happen.

In the month of November 2023, a male poster who wished to remain anonymous posted his experience on the “AITA” subreddit. He disclosed that he and his ex-wife had divorced when his children, who are now 15 and 12 years old, were still small. Following seven years of separation with parenting time split evenly, his ex-wife had remarried, which resulted in the termination of any spousal support payments.

During the time that OP was posting his story on the internet, his ex-wife was going through yet another difficult period because her most recent spouse had left her. OP found himself uninterested in the particulars of their split, as he was indifferent to the particulars of the situation.

In spite of the difficult circumstances, he said that the departing husband did not strike him as a nasty person and that he had left their home to his ex-wife, who is currently experiencing a lot of difficulties. Nevertheless, OP continued to be unaware of the specifics of the financial situation.

There was a sudden and unexpected change in the circumstances when she called him the previous week, pleading for assistance with food urgently. She went on to explain that she had used up all of the money in her budget for herself and the children. OP requested a brief pause before phoning her back, indicating that she would be willing to take the request into consideration.

The consequences became more severe when some people took a stance against him and criticised him for not delivering the assistance that she had requested.
OP, who was armed with a freezer full of elk, venison, and wild hog as well as a pantry full of beef, pork, and chicken, made the decision to provide a helping hand after having a conversation with his girlfriend who still lived with him. When he called his ex-wife and promised her a substantial load of goods, things proceeded in a manner that was completely unanticipated.

As an alternative to accepting the offer, she threw a curveball with her request for funds to place an order for food. Maintaining his stance, OP politely denied the request, stating that he had enough food for two weeks’ worth of her consumption, but that he could not provide her with cash for takeaway.

His ex-wife accused him of expecting thanks for what she considered to be “scraps,” and he found himself becoming labelled as a result. Unfazed, he elaborated on his intention, highlighting the quantity of frozen meat, canned vegetables, and fresh garden produce. Additionally, he intended to provide items such as rice bags and pasta that had not been opened.

In spite of the fact that his children had a proclivity for hunting and his older son was skilled in the kitchen, OP remained steadfast and was driven by the need to ensure that his children had a healthy diet. Having convinced himself that he was going to accomplish her wish, he gave his girlfriend the instruction to forego packing anything.
He sent a text message to the children, telling them that he would take care of any issues regarding hunger. Upon receiving their response, it was discovered that although food was available, it needed to be prepared.

Additionally, both of them stated that they would be willing to take some of the hog roasts and elk roasts if I were prepared to spare some of them. I laughed and told them that I will take over later,” OP provided an explanation.
In spite of the fact that OP was making a sincere effort to help, he found himself in the centre of a controversy. According to his ex-wife, who presented a different version of events, he was accused of trying to coerce her into playing the role of a “housewife” while allegedly ignoring the nutritional requirements of their children.

The consequences became more severe when some people took a stance against him and criticised him for not delivering the assistance that she had requested. OP, who remained unwavering in his belief, questioned whether there was a point of view that he might be missing out on despite the outcry that was occurring.

The story of OP has received a significant amount of attention on the internet, with the majority of users referring to him as “NTA.” There is absolutely no reason to be giving her money, as stated by one user who noted, “Definitely NTA.” While she was in need of assistance with food, you were more than willing to provide her with some of your own meals. But she does not require or desire assistance with food.”

She is in need of or desires money. For a custody arrangement of 50/50, you shouldn’t be required to give her any money. If she is in desperate need of it, she will be required to submit an application for government assistance. The user came to the conclusion that she was being foolish.

The NTA. You are using the same strategy that I do when dealing with panhandlers. Despite the fact that I will purchase food for them and then deliver it to them, I will not give them any money. Additionally, it is incredibly disheartening to see how few individuals will allow me to get them a sandwich or a meal when they are in need of financial assistance,” wrote another reviewer.

I am perplexed as to why she believes that the act of preparing food for her children is a form of manipulation that is intended to make her a housewife… One can refer to this as being a typical parent. Another commenter voiced their opinion that it is obvious that she is not a housewife for anyone.

Were you of the opinion that OP made the right decision when he refused to send money to his ex-wife? If you were in the position of OP, what actions would you take? Follow this link to hear another story about a guy whose daughter, who was 19 years old at the time, blurted out that he was “nothing more than an ATM” to her and revealed the secret that her mother had been keeping.