Am I Wrong for Banning My Mom from My Wedding after What She Did to My Fiancee at Family Dinner?

After his mother and aunts made critical statements about his fiancée, Maya, who was 24 years old, during a family gathering, a man in the United States who was 25 years old was forced to make a difficult decision regarding his forthcoming wedding. This story may be described as heartbreaking.

The Original Poster (OP) on Reddit, who relocated to Norway when he was 19 years old in order to pursue his undergraduate degree, turned to the site in order to inquire about the thoughts of others regarding whether or not he was right in excluding his mother and aunts from the wedding.

It was recently announced that the couple had become engaged, and the revelation was made when they were on a trip to OP’s hometown. His mother, along with Debra and another aunt, did not share the excitement that was expressed by the bulk of the family during the family reunion that was hosted by OP’s aunt Debra, who is 57 years old. This caused the event to take a negative turn.

As the evening progressed, Maya confided in her fiance that she was experiencing discomfort as a result of the glares that she received from the three individuals who disapproved of her behaviour. Given Maya’s reserved nature and her lack of self-assurance in English, the pair generally communicated with one another in Norwegian. Nevertheless, the mother’s judgmental glares became more intense whenever they shifted to English in order to interact with the family.

Concerned about the tension, OP sought an explanation from his father, who is 55 years old. However, his father downplayed the scenario as a usual reaction from his mother when it came to making decisions regarding her son’s relationships. An attempt was made by the father to minimise the problem by implying that the mother was only upset about her son settling down in such a distant location.
After dessert, OP’s mother, who is 52 years old, came up to offer a toast that left the room in a state of shock. This was the moment when the situation took a turn for the worst.

“Cheers to my son and his [fiancée], she may not be the best woman for him, but I’m sure he’ll realise that once he sees what a [expletive] and gold digger she is,” she claimed. “I’m sure he’ll realise that once he sees what she is.” Alternatively, it is possible that she will develop a conscience and save him from herself. Cheers to that!
OP realised that he was in a difficult situation since he was experiencing the weight of the familial division.

Maya walked out of the room while crying, leaving behind a profound silence that was only broken by the nasty snickers of OP’s mother and aunts. Because OP was unable to continue bearing the weight of the situation, he broke the quiet with a resolute declaration: he is breaking all ties with the abusive group of individuals.

You have come to the realisation that you have not been in the race for the position of being the most significant woman in my life for almost a decade as of this moment. In all honesty, I have feelings for her, and I would rather have a kick to the nuts than you. The three of you are not permitted to attend the wedding, and Maya and I will be sleeping at a hotel for the remainder of our time here,” he announced, putting his fiancée’s emotional well-being ahead of their familial ties. He was sticking up for his fiancée.

Subsequently, the couple departed without delay, leaving behind a family that was splintered and a wave of disdain. As they made their way to a motel, the gravity of the situation began to sink in, and OP struggled to come to terms with a range of conflicting feelings. The choice to not invite his mother and aunts to the wedding was a clear demonstration of his disapproval of the terrible actions they had taken, but it also caused a chain reaction of criticism from his friends and family.

Within the context of the reaction, OP was confronted with calls from members of his family who expressed their belief that his actions were excessive.

They framed his mother’s nasty statements as misplaced fears for his well-being and highlighted his mother’s reported intoxication as the reason for their concern.

However, OP’s sister, who had made the decision to avoid contact with their mother, provided a viewpoint that was contrary to the ones presented. She brought attention to the gravity of the matter and dropped a hint that the acts of the OP could potentially have far-reaching repercussions on the relationships within the family.

Because of the rift in the family, OP found himself in a difficult situation that was made even more difficult by the fact that his father was split between his desire to attend his son’s wedding and his devotion to the family. Due to the fact that many members of his family refused to take part in the event unless OP re-invited his mother and aunts, the decision was a burden that he had to bear emotionally.

With Maya’s advice, OP struggled to make a decision about the challenging option that lay ahead. Maya indicated a great wish to maintain her distance from the people who had given her such emotional grief, despite the fact that she was willing to accept any decision he made on the matter.

This family drama has been further complicated by further revisions to the initial post, which revealed new developments. It was made clear by OP that his sister was not taking a position that was in favour of their mother’s side of the family. However, she was concerned about the possibility of losing familial links, particularly with their father, who was trapped between his wife’s conduct and his love for his children.

As a result of OP’s determination to approach his father, which was prompted by the recommendations made by members of Reddit, a candid conversation ensued in which his father acknowledged to his long-standing dread of divorce and the consequences of standing up to his wife. As the emotionally charged session came to a close, the son demanded that his father prioritise his children over his wife, leaving the future of their relationship uncertain but optimistic.

The couple’s dedication to each other and their desire to celebrate their union in an environment that is supportive and loving was underscored by the decision to proceed with a traditional Norwegian wedding near Maya’s hometown, despite the turmoil that existed within the family.
When it comes to the online community, the majority of users consider OP to be “NTA,” which indicates that his narrative has garnered widespread acceptance. “Stick to your decision,” wrote one of the subscribers. Additionally, convey to your father that you are supporting your wife in the same manner that he is supporting his other wife.

Something else was revealed, and it was said, “NTA, and I want to thank you for standing up for your girlfriend.” In a manner that was completely out of character, your mother revealed her true nature. You are not in the least bit unreasonable, and you should not allow anyone to convince you otherwise.

“NTA,” said a third individual in the meanwhile. I can’t help but think about the proverb that says, “When you marry a man, you marry his family.” Should I find myself in Maya’s position, I would really contemplate making a break for it and heading for the hills. I have faith that you will be able to make things right with your bride.
What are your thoughts on the decision that OP made to expel his mother and aunts and to issue an ultimatum to his father after witnessing the manner in which his mother handled his fiancee? What actions would you do if you were in the position of OP?