Holiday Hostage: Serving Up Family Drama at Christmas Dinner

My In-Laws Want Me to Be Their Server at the Family Christmas Dinner & My Husband Supports Them

A woman was looking forward to spending Christmas with her in-laws, who were going to pay a visit to the new home that she and her husband had recently purchased. The offer to produce delectable home-cooked goodies for them was enthusiastically presented by her, but they declined the idea immediately. Not much time passed before she learned the rationale for their choice, which caused her to feel a great deal of distress.

It was on December 7, 2023 that a female contributor who wished to remain anonymous posted her predicament in the “AITA” thread, which is extremely popular on Reddit. It was during the holiday season that the woman, who had only recently tied the knot, found herself making preparations for the arrival of her husband’s parents. They were supposed to remain at the new house that she and her husband had just purchased.

In spite of the fact that they had indicated a wish to eat Christmas dinner somewhere else, she graciously recommended that they prepare a feast at home. It is unfortunate that they did not accept her offer. Because of the woman’s current work, the issue took a fascinating turn that added an element of intrigue.

After being terminated from her position at the corporation, she found employment in the local community as a server. Due to the fact that her restaurant was closed on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, she was given the opportunity to enjoy the holiday season without having to worry about any work-related issues.

However, it was at that moment that the woman was confronted with the most shocking and unsettling surprise of her whole life.


What was the wife’s mother-in-law doing?

It just so happened that the mother-in-law of the original poster had something quite different in mind. “[My MIL] called up my workplace without speaking to me beforehand and asked for me to be their server for their entire Christmas dinner,” said OP in his explanation.

“I found out through my husband that I’d be playing the role of their server for their festive family celebration, and my Christmas “present” would be a sweet tip and takeout from my restaurant,” recounted OP.

Considering that the restaurant where she worked was closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, the woman regarded the request made by her in-laws to be somewhat peculiar. She would have been available to spend quality time with them on those days, but the restaurant was closed on those holiday days.

It was to OP’s absolute dismay that her in-laws intended to make the dinner their designated family celebration, and they planned to schedule it for the day before the restaurant closed for Christmas. In spite of the demands made by her in-laws, OP was unwavering in her position. “I respectfully rejected since, let’s be honest, being excluded from Christmas dinner while working as their server seemed like an unacceptable situation to me. Her observation was that “that is a hard pass from me.”

Nevertheless, it was at that moment that the woman was confronted with the most significant and unsettling surprise of her entire life: her husband made the decision to support his parents rather than stand by her side. “Unfortunately, I was told that I was being dramatic, and there’s nothing weird about me being [my in-laws’] server for their family’s Christmas dinner,” OP expressed disappointment.

The individual in question couldn’t help but think, “AITA for expressing to my in-laws that I don’t want to be their server for their family’s Christmas dinner?” in light of everything that had taken place.

Taking advantage of the opportunity that presented itself during a FaceTime session, the woman expressed her desire for clear limits and emphasised the inacceptability of such behaviour, particularly non light of the racial and economic differences that exist between this group.

She needed to establish herself and not ignore the actions of her in-laws because she was a woman of mixed race who came from a family that is considered to be of lower social level. Due to the overwhelming nature of the problem, the OP noted that it could take some time for her to react to messages. She expressed her gratitude to everyone for their support and acknowledged that their solidarity had been of great aid through the situation.

How People Reacted Online

The woman’s story garnered a significant amount of attention on the internet, with the vast majority of users completely agreeing that she should be referred to as “NTA.” At least one individual voiced their severe dislike of the scenario, describing it as both insulting and cruel.

The fact that the woman’s in-laws would rather have her serve them at her place of employment than take part in their Christmas celebration was brought to their attention as a paradox. The absence of assistance from the husband was another thing that they questioned.

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inAmItheAsshole
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inAmItheAsshole

OP answered, expressing her sentiments of offence and confusion at the strange request made by her and her husband’s parents. The fact that her own family would never treat a son or daughter-in-law in such a manner was emphasised by her, and she expressed a feeling of being isolated and being subjected to gaslighting.

In response to a second comment, the original poster revealed that she was of quarter Native American and half Mexican descent, but that she had fair skin. She said that her husband’s parents were wealthy, and that the unreasonable demands that they made really irritated her.

There was another comment that expressed sympathy for the original poster and reiterated the idea that the in-laws were to blame. The individual in issue acknowledged the out-of-touch nature of the request and questioned her absence from the family celebration. She wondered whether she was not considered a member of the family.

Comment
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inAmItheAsshole
Comment
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inAmItheAsshole

In a subsequent comment, the user expressed her recognition of the necessity of having a serious conversation with her husband in response to the point made by another user that the problem went beyond only problems with her husband’s in-laws.

Are you of the opinion that OP made the right decision when she declined to serve her in-laws at their Christmas dinner? Putting yourself in her shoes, what actions would you take?

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