Husband Demands Parenting To-Do List, Wife Delivers with an Unexpected Twist

My Husband Demanded a Detailed To-Do List to Parent Our Daughter — He Got One, but with a Little Surprise

I gave in to my husband’s desire for a to-do list for raising our kid, but there was a catch. He was rendered speechless by the final item on the list, which permanently changed our family. Who knew a short list could be so powerful?

Being a mother is difficult, but when your spouse doesn’t support you, it gets even more difficult. I never imagined myself in this predicament, yet here I am, enraged at my husband’s lack of parental duty.

It was all great when I married Derrick four years ago. We were content and eager to begin a family.

I still recall Derrick crying with joy when we learned I was expecting.

I told Derrick that day, “You’re going to be a great dad.”

He said, grinning from ear to ear, “And you’ll be the best mother to our baby!”

Derrick said he would be there for me anytime I needed him that evening. He assured me that he would never abandon me and would stop at nothing to ensure the safety of our child and me.

However, it seemed as though he had forgotten all of his pledges to be an involved father since the day Amelia was born.

Initially, I gave him a break.

He must be exhausted because he was working while I was on maternity leave. I gave up expecting him to assist with the baby’s upkeep.

Not that he didn’t adore Amelia. Yes, he did.

He would play and show her so much love. But when it came to the big jobs, like feeding, changing diapers, and getting up in the middle of the night, I was on my own.

I didn’t really discuss it with Derrick until after my maternity leave was up.

“Derrick, I need your help with Amelia now that I’m going back to work,” I replied.

He agreed and nodded, but his words were not consistent with his behavior. If I asked, he would do the bare minimum, but he never took the initiative.

Then, one day, everything was altered.

Like every other morning, it began. Amelia was enjoying her favorite show in her high chair while I was cleaning my teeth.

I hoped Derrick could help get Amelia ready for daycare since I was going to be late. However, he was curled up on the sofa, browsing through videos on TikTok.

I felt irritated. I was furious.

After washing my mouth, I entered the living room and took a position directly across from him.

“Why haven’t you made Amelia’s breakfast yet?” I questioned sharply.

With that expression on his face, I must have asked him to recite the Declaration of Independence aloud.

He shrugged and added, “I was waiting to ask you what to make.”

“Seriously, Derrick?” I spit out. Each day before childcare, she has scrambled eggs for breakfast. You’ve witnessed my countless attempts to make them.

“Well, you didn’t say anything this morning,” he shot back.

At that point, I snapped.

“Do I need to explain everything to you in detail? I’m giving our daughter my all. Changing her, cleaning her teeth, and packing her daycare bag. How about you? You simply exist.”

I assumed he would recognize his error and assist me with the housework. Nope. He chose to dispute with me.

“Make me a list if you want me to assist. If not, I’m not doing anything,” he declared.

“A catalog? Are you joking with me? I rolled my eyes. You’re not an employee; you’re her parent. Ever witness someone giving me a list? Being her mother, I am aware of her requirements! You ought to as well.”

“Make a list, or I’m out.”

I could feel the redness in my face from anger. But I was aware that there was no use in carrying on the argument.

Without saying anything more to Derrick, I simply finished making Amelia’s breakfast, got her ready, and headed off to daycare and work.

I kept thinking about his demand for a list the entire day at work.

Then it dawned on me. I would give him a list he would never forget if he asked for one.

I took out a piece of paper and began to write. My face was smiling by the time I finished. After folding the paper and putting it in my bag, I carried on with my day.

In the evening, I went back home after picking Amelia up from daycare. I had a feeling this night would be intriguing.

That evening, I was sitting in the living room, getting ready to show Derrick the list I had created.

I tried to sound casual as I said, “Hey, I’ve got something for you.”

He sat down on the couch looking intrigued.

“Really?” he questioned. “What is it?”

I smiled as I took out the folded paper and gave it to him at that point.

“Here’s that list you wanted.”

He unfolded it, initially appearing perplexed. Then, as he read, his eyes grew wide.

At seven in the morning, change her diaper (using the proper size, not the tiny ones from the other drawer).

7:05 a.m.: Make breakfast (on days when daycare is open, scrambled eggs). You are aware of this.)

7:15 a.m.: Fill and rinse the daycare bottles (remember to clean them afterward; she will need them for both milk and water).

7:20 a.m.: Give her a brushing, the same way you would. Use the little toothbrush that is kept in the bathroom cupboard.

7:30 am: Put her clothes on (the ones marked “Daycare outfits” are in the drawer).

7:35 a.m.: Prepare her daycare bag (favorite toy, extra clothes, wipes, and diapers).

7:45 a.m.: Get her into the car (please make sure she is wearing shoes.)

8:00 a.m.: Deliver her to the daycare (same address). You’ve previously been there.

I nodded at him to continue reading, but he looked up at me.

The list went on:

12:00 p.m.: Don’t be late while picking her up from daycare. As you are aware, she detests waiting.

Change her diaper at 12:15 p.m. (by now, it will surely need one)

Lunch should be ready by 12:30 p.m. (she likes those mini veggie pouches, but you could try mixing them with some actual food).

Playtime begins at 1:00 p.m. She needs more than screen time—she needs brain stimulation. If it’s nice outdoors, take her outside.

2:00 p.m.: Time for a nap (good luck getting her to go asleep without her cuddly animal of choice)

4:00 p.m.: Snack time; crackers or chopped fruit work well. No sweet junk food

5:30 p.m.: Get dinner ready (something chewable and soft for her). Remember to bring her bib.

Bath time at 6:00 p.m. (Take caution, as she enjoys splashing). Make sure the water is warm but not hot.

Bedtime routine: 7:00 p.m. (Read her a tale, brush her teeth once more, and put her to sleep)

The last line appears at the very end of the list:

Complete the child support payment.

Derrick’s expression darkened.

He looked up at me and stammered, “Wh-What does that mean?” “Child support?”

“If you want me to give you a step-by-step guide for raising our daughter, I’ll happily do it, but as a co-parent,” I calmly said after taking a long breath. You see, even though we share a home and you’re her father, I shouldn’t have to tell you what to do every single time. Not for a husband, but for a divorced parent, I will compose lists.”

Derrick remained quiet. He was at a loss for words.

As the situation’s reality set in, I could see the wheels moving in his brain. I was just exhausted, not angry anymore. I’m sick of being the only parent in a house with two parents.

Derrick laid the list down on the coffee table after folding it.

Silently, he answered, “I get it.” “I apologize. I apologize profusely for my absence. I see that I ought to have gotten more active right away.”

Those were words that broke like a dam. That night, we spoke for hours on end. Since Amelia was born, I’m sure that was the first time we had a REAL conversation.

We talked about our goals, worries, and expectations for our family.

Derrick then acknowledged that the reason he’d been so detached from the role had been that he felt overwhelmed and uneasy about being a father. I talked about how alone and angry I had been without him in the interim.

Derrick took my hand and said, “I never meant to make you feel like you were in this alone.” “I genuinely want to be a good father. I simply… I suppose I had no idea where to begin.”

I reminded him, “You start by showing up.” “By showing up and being open to learning. All I’ve asked of you is that.”

I’m happy to report that since that evening, things have evolved. In ways I never thought possible, Derrick has stepped up.

He has become proficient at changing Amelia’s diaper, gets up at night to nurse her, and has even started a weekly “Daddy-Daughter Day” where they go out and spend quality time together.

Derrick was not the only one who took note of the list. It marked a sea change for our entire family.

We improved our ability to communicate, divide the workload, and recognize one another’s accomplishments.

My heart fills with love and thankfulness now as I see Derrick teach Amelia how to construct block towers or read goodnight stories to her.

Finally, I want to share a message with all the mothers out there who feel like they’re struggling on their own. Do not hesitate to voice your opinions. Tell your lover how you truly feel, please.

Sometimes a wake-up call is all that’s needed to make a change. When you let your spouse know what you want out of the relationship, they can surprise you.

What happens if they don’t? After that, you’ll be aware of your situation and able to adjust your course of action.