After 30 Years of Marriage, She Asked for a Divorce – Her Reason Left Him Stunned
Woman Asks Husband of 30 Years for Divorce Even Though He’d Done Nothing — Story of the Day
My husband has always been of the opinion that our marriage is flawless. He believed that he was a committed partner, a provider, a good father, and a faithful husband.
He also believed that. My perspective, on the other hand, is that our marriage was a slow-burning sorrow, a series of silent disappointments that piled over the years until I could no longer handle the weight of them.
When I informed him that I desired a divorce, he was completely taken aback.
At that moment, his voice broke and he asked, “Why?” Never in my life have I cheated on you. No, I have never hit you or treated you with disrespect. Just why would you choose to end a marriage that has lasted thirty years?
A sigh came out of my mouth as I gazed into his confused eyes. “Because you were never really there,” I responded to you. “Because I have felt alone for thirty years.”
His perplexity grew much bigger. ” I am unable to comprehend. This is where I’ve always been.”
I gave a slight shake of my head. “No, you have not done so. Although you were physically present, you were also emotionally absent.
You were the one who sat on the couch and watched television while I was fatigued after a hard day of work and still had to cook, clean, and take care of the children.
Despite the fact that I was ill and required rest, you wanted me to keep on as if nothing was actually wrong. You comforted me by patting my shoulder and telling me to get over the loss of my father as I was crying myself to sleep over their passing.
On the occasions when I yearned for affection, for a simple touch or a kind word, you hardly paid any attention.
After an extended period of silence, he finally uttered in a hushed voice, “I didn’t know.”
“Because you never cared to know,” I responded, maintaining a clear and unwavering tone in my voice. “When I pleaded for assistance, you simply shrugged your shoulders.
You offered a grunt in answer to my request that we have a conversation.
Your response to my suggestion that you seek therapy was that it was unnecessary. You were happy with your life. However, I was not. “And you never once paused to inquire as to the reason.”
Through the use of his hands, he stroked his face. I had the impression that everything was going well. At first, I assumed you were content.
My response was, “You never asked if I was,” you said. A number of years ago, you made the assumption that I was content because I did not yell, demand, or leave on my own will.
On the other hand, all the while you were coasting through life, I was drowning in loneliness.
The look of desperation flashed across his eyes. “I have the ability to change. Now is the time to go to treatment. I’ll give it a shot. Try not to leave at all.”
As a wave of melancholy washed over me, I shook my head. Your sole concern right now is that you are going to lose me.
It is possible that things would have been different if you had listened to them many years ago and made an effort to do so. But what about now? The time is passed.”
As a result, I gathered my belongings and departed. When I moved into a quaint little apartment by the beach, I began getting up early to see the sunrise,
I went for long walks, and I rediscovered who I was before I became a wife, a mother, and a woman who was yearning for love that never came.
My hair was cut, I purchased clothes that made me feel beautiful, I started doing yoga, and I started learning how to dance.
My children were taken aback by the change, particularly my oldest kid, who informed me that their father was experiencing a great deal of emotional distress and was consulting with a therapist.
I was sorry for him, but I did not feel any regret about the choice I made. I had not had a sense of lightness in many years. It is free. Excited.
One year later, I encountered a person. Sam was the kind of man who appreciated the smallest of details, who listened to me, and who made me feel like I was being seen. He was thoughtful and kind.
It was not a case of him holding my hand without intention; rather, it was an intentional, caring, and reassuring gesture. He did not presume that I was content; rather, he inquired about it.
He was not merely present in my life; rather, he was a part of my existence. And for the very first time, I had a realization of what it was supposed to be like to be in love.
According to what I’ve heard, my ex-husband is currently dating a younger woman who is demanding of his attention, his time, and his financial resources.
He expresses his dissatisfaction with the fact that she is so demanding and how much effort she requires.
And I wonder if he is aware of the fact that if he had put in even half of that kind of work into our marriage, it is possible that our story might have ended differently.
Both the things that we do and the things that we do not do in a relationship are equally significant.
Love does not only consist of avoiding the negative; rather, it is about actively producing the positive.
It is about being there, listening, giving, and showing up for what is going on. I really hope that at least one person is able to understand this before it is too late.
