My Mother-in-Law Barged into Our Family Dinner, Took My Seat & Plate

A woman’s mother-in-law unexpectedly assumes command of the family dinner table, taking not only her place but also her thoughtfully laid out plate. A network of unresolved issues and emotions emerges as the woman manages this unannounced incursion.
An anonymous female poster in the “AITAH” thread on Reddit told her story on January 10, 2024. According to the Original Poster (OP), she and her spouse have been together for six years and have two stepchildren, ages ten and twelve, and two biological children, ages nine and three months. Together, they have four children in all.

Following childbirth, OP experienced severe dietary difficulties. Even when they were hungry, the idea of eating regular meals frequently made them feel sick to their stomachs. Crackers and finger foods were acceptable as snacks, but larger meals made me feel repulsed. OP calculated that since giving birth to her daughter, she has only had roughly five hot meals overall.
She explained that she had been in regular contact with doctors, who had been keeping an eye on her health and working with her to come up with a workable plan that would enable her to eat meals in full again. Even so, she seldom ever ate dinner; instead, she cooked and plated her husband’s and kids’ meals, usually leaving her own plate empty.

Even though her spouse knew that she had trouble eating, he frequently pushed that she eat. In fact, OP called his efforts to have her finish a meal “force feeding.” The woman said that she occasionally indulged, even though she typically couldn’t finish large plates of food. It was one of these uncommon days, the day before she posted her story online.
After sending her spouse a text expressing her desire to make shepherd’s pie along with a “drooling emoji,” she wondered whether it was because she had not stated clearly that she intended to eat. She finished preparing dinner since she was hungry and couldn’t wait to serve it to everyone.
She was shocked when, while planning the family get-together, her mother-in-law showed in out of the blue, snatching OP’s chair and taking the extra plate that she planned to use. The woman was so overcome with emotion that she lost her words when she witnessed her mother-in-law devour the dish before her kids had even been served. This infuriated her.

Oppo chose not to express her emotions to the children and instead urged them to eat. After the unexpected disturbance to the family supper, she withdrew to cool off, leaving her husband to wonder what she had planned for dinner.
Her stepson sensed something was wrong as OP left the room and said in a whisper to her husband, “[But] dad, I think mum was going to eat tonight.” In an effort to diffuse the tension, her spouse said, “[Baby], were you going to eat tonight? You’re welcome to my assistance.” Ignoring him, still boiling over with rage, OP smiled at her stepson and told him, “[It’s] fine.”
Following her mother-in-law’s exit, OP’s husband appeared, looking for an explanation about the dinner table incident. He insisted it wasn’t a big deal and added nonchalantly that she could have eaten his dinner.

OP became irate and retaliated, voicing her dissatisfaction at his choice to invite his mother without first asking her about her appetite or evening plans. She highlighted her excitement for the meal by pointing to her previous text, which included a drooling emoji.
Feeling disappointed, her husband replied, “[Yeah], but you never eat!” I smell like a [expletive] loser right now. Thank you,” he said, then turned to leave. Unfortunately, their stepson overheard the chat, so it wasn’t discreet.
The small child made a sweet gesture by approaching OP with a dish in hand and confessing that he had kept some food for her. Although OP was moved by his generosity, she couldn’t get rid of the thought that she might be to blame despite her legitimate irritation.

Given her propensity to avoid heated meals, the internal conflict left her wondering if she had been inconsiderate and considering the consequences of the unannounced disturbance to the family supper. After the uneasy evening, there was still tension as OP struggled with the consequences of her choices and her husband continued to pout.
Furthermore, OP explained that, in spite of her unsure hunger, she had only cooked dinner for the people who were scheduled to be there, herself included. Her husband knew about this practice because there was never any leftover food. Her stepson graciously contributed a small bit, but not much.

OP revealed that her mother-in-law gave adults priority over children when it came to mealtimes, a tendency her husband hardly ever challenged. A further layer of complexity was introduced by the OP’s tense relationship with her mother-in-law, leading her to speculate that her MIL might not have given a damn about her need to eat.

OP was compelled to exit the room due to a seating disruption caused by her mother-in-law claiming her seat. Her spouse offered to share his piece, but he stayed seated, signalling that he would not be eating.

The story of the individual acquired popularity on the internet, and most comments were positive, stating that the woman was not at fault. “The fact that she just walked in sat down and started helping herself before the children were served is just rude [sic],” a commenter said.

“Because he behaved like a loser, your spouse feels inadequate. Whoever welcomes their mother over without first requesting to sample their wife’s cooking? Really, though? I know males can be naive, but that takes naivety to a whole new level. like a naive caveman. I wish I could present my wife to your husband. In contrast, I appear completely refined. NTA without a doubt,” another commenter said.

“The AH is NOT you. Never, ever should your spouse have brought someone over without first talking to you about it. You’re juggling a lot since having a baby! Another person said, “Be gentle with yourself and remember how your wonderful stepson views you 🌹 [sic].”

Did the woman have the right, in your opinion, to blame her husband for what transpired? In OP’s shoes, how would you respond?