Am I a Bad Husband? My Reaction to My Wife’s Father’s Day Gift Sparked a Debate

Am I a Bad Husband for My Reaction to My Wife’s Father’s Day Gift to Me?

Jackson’s wife, Savannah, reveals her displeasure with Mother’s Day, which strains their marriage. As Father’s Day draws near, Jackson looks forward to a relaxing day. Savannah, though, has other ideas. Jackson feels more uneasy than ever, wondering about his position as a husband when Savannah gives him her surprise gift.

I killed the engine as soon as I pulled into the driveway. I was aware that I was running late at 8 p.m.

I had not seen Savannah or our four children—Madison, 10, Olivia, 5, Ethan, 4, and our 9-month-old baby Lily—for the past two weeks due to my lengthy work hours.

I thought as I approached the home that the present I had purchased would make up for my absence on Savannah’s most memorable day. I really hoped it would make her smile because it was a fancy purse she had been eyeing for months.

I waited as I rang the doorbell. A little while later, the door opened, and Savannah, looking worn out, was standing on the porch with Lily in her arms.

“Happy Mother’s Day,” I remarked as I gave her the present.
You really didn’t have to. “I appreciate it, Jackson,” she said, accepting the present. She took me to the dining room table and set the box down carefully.
“Aren’t you going to see what it is?”

“All I wanted was some alone time today, honey,” she said. “I needed a break from being needed every minute.”
Her remarks really got to me. I really apologize, Savannah. I had to go to work, and I couldn’t leave until around 6:30. I then proceeded to shop for your gift.”
With a sigh, she set the gift down. “I understand. But any other day, you could have presented this gift to me. I needed to sleep today.”

I could hear it in her words and see it in her eyes. She hadn’t had a moment to herself because the kids had been demanding all day. Even though I was quite exhausted, I wanted to improve it.

“I swear, I’ll make it right,” I said. “Maybe this weekend, I can take the kids out, and you can have some time to yourself.”
Savannah gave a nod, but her expression was not quite convinced.

We made the kids ready for bed and went through the routine of the evening.
It was close to ten p.m. by the time they were all sound asleep.
Savannah gave me a hopeful smile as we tucked ourselves into bed. “Baby, would you mind rubbing my back? I’m dying of shoulder pain.”
“Of course,” I replied, eager to lend a hand.

I began to massage her shoulders. However, I was quite exhausted.
I was suddenly overcome with tiredness from the long weeks of work. I struggled to stay awake, but eventually my eyes were heavy and I slept off.
Before sleep seized over, the last thing I heard was Savannah’s dejected sigh.

When Father’s Day came along, Mother’s Day was still fresh in my recollection.
Not because I had anything spectacular planned, but rather because there wasn’t much work to be done, I made the decision to leave work early. I completed my work swiftly and left the office at lunchtime.

Bob, one of my coworkers, observed my speed at the office. “Jackson, you’re completing those reports so quickly today. Why the hurry?”

“It’s Father’s Day,” I declared while reaching for my outerwear. “Figured I’d take advantage of the light workload and head home early.”
Bob laughed. “You’re lucky. Man, have fun with it. Take full advantage of it.”

After finishing everything, I left for home. It was almost 12:30 p.m. when I entered, feeling satisfied with my choice.
Savannah smiled broadly to welcome me.

“Happy Father’s Day,” she hugged me and said. “What do you want for dinner tonight?”
I gave a shrug. “I don’t know, whatever you want is fine with me.”
Savannah gave a nod. “All right. For today, what are your plans? With the kids, we could go swimming or fishing.”

I paused for a second, envisioning a quiet afternoon spent in the garage. “Honestly… all I want is to relax and work on my truck uninterrupted,” I replied. “You know, I was hoping I could have some time for myself.”

Savannah’s expression abruptly changed. “No, you can hang out with the kids for Father’s Day.”
I scowled. “Why? Father’s Day is today. I should be able to do as I like, right?

Savannah gave me a sharp glance. “It seems unfair that you should have a carefree, kid-free day yet you couldn’t even provide me with a fraction of that on Mother’s Day. On Father’s Day, you can spend time with the children.”

Her statement surprised me. She said, “It’s my gift to you,” just as I opened my lips to reply. I’m giving you this opportunity since you work so much and don’t have time to spend quality time with your children! Have fun!

She clearly indicated that I was going to be the parent for the day when she handed me Lily.

“Dad, can we watch a movie?” Olivia queried when displaying a DVD.
Feeling the weight of the day, I sighed. “Sure, let’s put it on.”

After we put the DVD in, I sat down on the couch and tried to find some quiet time. But there was no chance of peace. Madison requested, “Dad, can you get me some popcorn?” as soon as the movie began.

I got up and made myself a bowl of popcorn in the kitchen. Upon returning to my seat, Ethan exclaimed, “Dad, I need a drink.”

I forced another sigh to disappear and went back to the kitchen for some beverages.
When I came back, Lily was making a fuss. She began to sob more loudly despite my attempts to gently rock her. My level of annoyance increased. All I had wanted was a day to myself to work on my truck and unwind. Was that asking for too much?

Olivia, on the other hand, was restless. She tugged at my sleeve and said, “Dad, can you sit with me?”

I answered, “Sure, sweetie,” moving Lily to one arm and encircling Olivia with the other. I had the impression that things would calm down until Madison got into a fight with Ethan about who the better character was.

Madison said, “Batman is better than Superman!”
“Not at all! “The strongest is Superman!” Ethan fired back.
I tried to seem calm as I urged, “Kids, keep it down.” “Let’s just watch the movie!”

However, they kept arguing, so I ended up stepping in as referee. Olivia squirmed in her seat, and Lily continued to fuss.

My annoyance increased. I was dealing with all of this chaos instead of having a peaceful day like I had intended.

It seemed unjust. Savannah had expressed her desire for rest on Mother’s Day, and I had failed to provide it for her. She was exacting revenge on Father’s Day now, and I wasn’t even able to have a moment to myself. I only wanted a day, and that’s not something I could have, is it?

When I eventually got the kids to bed, the house was silent and I was sitting by myself in the living room.

“Why should you get a stress-free, kid-free, relaxing day when you couldn’t give me even a sliver of that on Mother’s Day?” Savannah said, and her words kept repeating over and over in my head.

Her furious expression from earlier in the day came back to me. It extended beyond today.
“You know, Jackson,” she’d said earlier, “you’ve been at work on Mother’s Day and my birthday for the past few years.” I’ve never had the freedom to do as I pleased.”

“Savannah, you know my job doesn’t give days off for those holidays,” I attempted to clarify. I’m powerless to stop myself.”

“But it’s what my job does,” she replied. “All birthdays, as well as Mother’s and Father’s Days, are paid for by my employer. You never take the day off, but I do every time. I find it difficult to take care of myself when I’m by myself with the kids.”

I had a guilty feeling. She was accurate. I never helped her make the most of her day off, even though she had the day off every time. She was having trouble with it, and up until now I hadn’t really understood.

I sat back on the sofa and ran a hand through my hair. “Am I wrong for being upset about the Father’s Day gift?” I pondered out loud.

I was aware that I had nowhere to stand. Savannah made a valid argument. She had been giving up her special days to me for years due to my work schedule. She had good cause, but I wanted to feel like I was right in being frustrated.

Even so, I didn’t think what she did was just. Today was the break I had been hoping for, a chance to relax and do something I enjoyed. I could have had my break had she been the more mature one!