Dining Dilemma: Why I Walked Out of a Fancy Family Dinner

Am I wrong for leaving a family dinner at an upscale restaurant?

When we make an effort to please everyone, we frequently find that we are unable to satisfy anyone, including ourselves. There is a member of Reddit who wishes to remain anonymous who discovered this the hard way.

Within the context of the AITA subreddit, this guy began his narrative by elaborating on the fact that, in comparison to the other members of his family, he has been a very successful individual. His job required him to travel regularly outside of the country, but whenever he was back in his hometown, he made it a point to spoil his family by taking them out to dinner.

The situation was the same as it had been before. As soon as his mother found out that he was going to be returning home, she notified him about the family get-together that she had planned. She sent a text message to him in which she provided the address of a posh steakhouse and informed him that his family would be waiting for him there.

However, upon entering the location, he was taken aback to discover that there were more than twenty people gathered there. The family get-togethers that he attended up until that point consisted of approximately six people who were close to him. In this particular instance, his mother even brought one of OP’s grandma’s neighbors, a person whom OP had only met a handful of times throughout his whole life. All he did was wave hello to this guy; he never even spoke to them.

When that moment arrived, people who were there at the premium restaurant had already placed their orders for the expensive steaks, which ranged in price from $80 to $250 per person. During the time that the waiters were bringing additional beverages and appetizers, the neighbor of the granny made a toast in which he emphasized the kindness of OP in covering the costs. This paved the way for a series of occurrences that were completely unexpected.

OP was not pleased with the fact that he was asked to pay for the expenses of such a large number of individuals without even being consulted about it in advance. Calculations made by him indicated that the bill had reached approximately $4,000 up to that point, and it was still growing.

As soon as OP became aware that his family was attempting to take advantage of him, he made the decision to leave the location.

As he rushed out of the restaurant, he left one hundred dollars on the table and declared, “I’m not paying for dinner.”

The ringing of his phone continued unabated. Despite the fact that he had received a large number of messages, the majority of which were from his mother, he chose to switch off his phone and go to bed for the night. His departure from the country took place the following day, and he did not say farewell.

OP was heartbroken by the fact that his family tried to take advantage of him and his generosity in such a sneaky way, despite the fact that he was aware of his less-than-ideal handling of the problem.

“I am aware that I am not going to be able to attend the dinner, but I am more concerned about my reaction,” he wrote.

In response to his mother’s repeated requests that he call her, he made the decision to talk to her and apologize for storming out of the restaurant in such a manner. He also extended an olive branch to communicate with her. Unfortunately, he was accused of being self-centered, greedy, and rude by those who were around him.

When OP, who had been extremely kind to his family over the years, found out about this, he was taken aback. Some of the other things that he did for his mother included giving her two automobiles, remodeling her bathroom, replacing her roof, and purchasing new appliances. In addition to that, he paid for all of the family vacations that they went on.

The allegations infuriated OP to such a degree that he made the decision to resort to extreme steps in order to put an end to any aid that was provided to individuals who failed to recognize its value.

Almost immediately after that, OP initiated a chain reaction of cancellations, which included six AT&T lines, internet services, streaming accounts with changed passwords or outright cancellations, removal from AAA coverage for the cars, termination of car insurance coverage for their mother, and cancellation of the credit card that they had provided.

It was with this decision that the beginning of the end of providing financial support to individuals who never expressed any gratitude had begun.

Despite the fact that the majority of the family members wanted to get involved in the quarrel, OP was even asked to a cousin’s wedding without being invited, with the reason that they wanted to prevent any drama. However, the expectation that a present would be given continued to exist.

After some time had passed, OP was of the opinion that he should refrain from communicating with his mother. While this was going on, the conversation about the approaching vacation with the family, which had been a hot issue in the past, had become dormant.

The mother of OP continued to send her son texts, each of which was more unpleasant than the previous one.

OP was informed by one of his nieces, who was not present but heard from a third party, that on the day that he left the restaurant, the family attempted to cancel the remainder of the dinner; however, because the appetizers and drinks had already been delivered, they reluctantly split a bill of $700.

OP was also informed by the same niece that the entire family referred to him as a malicious and greedy individual.

The Redditors unanimously decided that the OP should be referred to as “NTA.”

“Everyone else at that table,” with the exception of you, “knew” that you were going to be the one to pay for supper. How strange is that? Your mother and the rest of your family put you in a position that was quite disrespectful. “And I do not know how you could have responded in a more appropriate manner,” one individual wrote.

Because of all of this, your mother was completely out of line. Beginning with the assumption that you will be paying, selecting that pricey location, and inviting a large number of people will be the first step. Someone else contributed, “She owes you a significant apology.”

“Have you welcomed your neighbors to your property? Do any of these individuals even know you? It is completely irrelevant, so hold on. In addition, everyone enjoyed their beverages, appetizers, and steak…Leaving after paying for your portion was a perfectly acceptable course of action. “They took advantage of the golden goose, and the golden goose went away and cut them off from their mother,” a third person observed.

Have you come to the conclusion that OP made the correct choice when he chose to advocate for himself?